proofofconcept | IC inbox

There's a small cafe near the Down Public Housing building--close enough that the coffee can be smelled on the wind in the mornings. Quentin's passing it by, on the way home from somewhere or other, and may be surprised to find a barista in a Cafe LeBlanc apron on break in front of the building, sipping a cuppa of his own and smoking a cigarette.

Perhaps even more surprising, the barista in question is a Dominant. A lanky man only a few inches taller than Quentin, he has his hair back in a tidy braid (as is appropriate while working around food), and is dressed in black clothes under his apron, with a botanical tattoo of some sort visible on his right arm under the rolled-up sleeve of his button-down shirt.

As he sees Quentin, he lifts his cup in a casual salute. "How's it hangin'?"

Edited 2022-02-21 05:31 (UTC)

"Um...pretty good." God, real coffee. That sounded amazing right now? The stuff in the public housing was...well, it was not coffee, and Quentin was pretty sure it wasn't even caffeinated, judging by the headache he'd been nursing. It was enough to stop him, when addressed, hands shoved awkwardly in his jeans pockets as he eyed the building hungrily. But he didn't have any money.

"Um, how about you?" Quentin's hair was down, brushing the shoulders of his secondhand hoodie-and-jacket combo, the line down his throat easily visible at a glance. His dumb little brain was sluggishly trying to figure out if he could somehow scam free coffee out of this guy while having, if one pardons the nerdiness, a charisma score of about five.

"Eh, can't complain." Meanwhile, Bash is noticing everything going on here--it is about the time of the month where new arrivals show up, and those clothes are definitely from the hand-me-down bin, either at the community center or sub housing. Quentin's hardly going to need to scam at all.

"You fresh outta orientation? Or have I just managed to miss you so far?"

"Um, first one, yeah," Quentin said, gesturing vaguely. "Just been here, um, maybe a couple days?" He was trying to look at the man talking to him, but his eyes were drawn to the door. Caffeine tho his brain kept whispering. The door was where the caffeine was. "I'm, um, Quentin." He gave a little wave.

There is no way someone so deeply entrenched in his own coffee addiction wouldn't catch the flicker of Quentin's gaze to the door. "How do you take your coffee, Quentin? I'll go grab you one. Call it a 'welcome to the shitshow' present, if you'd like."

"Oh, god, thank you," he said, sagging a little with relief. "Um, one cream, three sugars. Please. Thank you." Honestly, though, Bash could bring him whatever and he'd drink it.

There's a wry little snort. "Wrong deity." And then Bash heads inside, returning with a coffee to Quentin's specifications and a blueberry muffin. Because just a coffee by itself is a miserable kind of breakfast.

"I'm Bash, by the way. Work here, in case that wasn't obvious, but I also do reception work at an office building in the Up. Don't tell my boss, but I like this better."

Quentin took the seat across from Bash, also kind of unreasonably excited about food that resembled real food. He took the first reverent sip of the coffee, closing his eyes. It took some effort not to moan out loud.

"So, um, why not quit that and do this full time?" he asked, taking another sip.

“Office jobs are more respectable, and I don’t wanna leave the boss in a lurch.” Bash gives a half-hearted shrug like it’s not all that big a deal. “The look on your face is amazing right now. Like a man in the desert getting that one sip of water...”

Quentin laughed a bit, embarrassed, but it was probably true. "They don't give us coffee in sub housing. No muffins, either," he said, peeling the paper wrapper down and taking a chunk from the side, popping it quickly in his mouth before he could drop too many crumbs. This obviously also made him happy, actually swaying a little bit from side to side. "I've had a caffeine withdrawal headache for like, three days," he said around his mouthful.

"Mm. Lemme lay a few things out for you, alright?" He holds up his fingers, counting out these next few points. "One: you can't spend money without a contract that says you can, but you can get a job if any Dominant gives you permission. Two: this place doesn't just do pastries, they also got some kickass curries. Real stick-to-your-ribs shit. Three: pretty sure we're still hiring, and I can put you in touch with my boss."

Quentin glanced at the building, nodding. "I'll definitely keep that in mind. There's, um, apparently a version of me was here before, and he had...friends? Um, and he worked at this theater so I want to check that out first before I make any like, decisions."

He glanced up at it again, then at Bash. "Besides, kinda hard to swallow working when I can't even use my money until I have a contract."

"Right, but I bet you could convince my boss to let you take on a short shift for a cuppa and a meal, if you asked."

That's where he was leading with all of those points together.

"Oh." Okay, so Quentin was a dumbass, but that wasn't news. He nodded. "Okay, yeah. Yeah, I could definitely do that." An hour or three of pulling espresso shots would be worth the promise of real coffee and food.

"Sorry," he added, belatedly. "Brain's still not, like, working."

"You'll wanna talk to David Loki--he's the bossman of the place. I can't promise he'll go for the deal, but I think it oughta work out for you both." He grins. "And don't worry about your brain--mine never worked at all."

Bash always finds it easy to mock his own intelligence or lack thereof. He's a dyslexic high school dropout whose only paying job before Dupe was as a cab driver.

Quentin nodded. "Noted. Though I think I'm gonna try to get contracted and get out of here, anyway. At least be able to buy stuff for myself."

"Yeah, makes sense. You know what you're looking for in a contract yet? I mean, not everyone does, but it's good, I think, to have some idea of where your lines are, or how you're thinking about it."

Bash is vividly aware his own tactics for contracting aren't standard and probably shouldn't be.

"Um, I have some ideas," Quentin said, nodding. "I mean, like, at a certain point, like, I'm gonna stop caring and I'm just gonna take whoever comes as long as they don't want something I'm actively against. But, um, I've heard about hands-off contracts and I don't want that," he said, shaking his head. He had his hands pressed together and tucked between his thighs, putting a little pressure on them, a self-comforting sort of gesture. "I want to be, like, at least friends with benefits, I guess, even if...I mean, yeah. Um, obviously I have to be allowed to work and spend money. Like, as many freedoms as is legal to have in a contract, I would probably want even if it's not stuff I think I'll even do. I guess partly because like, if a dom really doesn't want me to be allowed to like, I don't know, take a taxi or something, then like, why? It's a red flag, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm with you there. In my own contracts, I've tried to be as free as possible. But my second partner--we ended up putting a couple rules in writing in the contract, things to make sure he takes care of himself. Must eat at least two meals a day, must get sleep, stuff like that. Because if it's on paper, he'll take them more seriously."

It's clear from the look on his face that he's pretty damned fond of the partner in question. At least friends with benefits, probably much more.

"I don't like the idea of hands-off contracts, myself, in part because I want to know if something's going wrong with my partner, if he needs me. But I'm kind a sentimental fuck."

Quentin nodded, privately thinking he could see why a contract partner would want to put that in a contract for him, and also knowing that he would resist it. It was his god-given right to neglect his self-care if he wanted to.

"Yeah," he said, looking down and taking another piece of his muffin. "I guess I just don't really have any confidence in being able to find a partner who...wants what I want."

"And what is it that you want?" He raises one eyebrow, looking Quentin right in the eyes.

Quentin didn't hold the contact very long, glancing to the side and then down at his coffee.

"I want...a lot of things," he said, fidgeting with the edge of the muffin wrapper. "Too many of which depend on people wanting to give them to me."

"Sweetheart, that's what we call dodging the question." Bash lets out a warm laugh. "But you don't have to tell me, if you don't wanna."

Being called sweetheart made him blush, and he took a big bite of the muffin -- the bottom part was almost gone -- to give himself time to think a little bit, put his words in the right order. Rude to talk with your mouth full and all.

"I mean, that's a really broad question, though," Quentin said. "Like what kind of wants are we talking about here? Life wants? I'm holding out hope I won't be here long enough to have to make a life. Sex wants? Like, yeah, I can talk about that but I'm not just gonna be like 'well I like sucking dick,'" he said, talking in a falsetto and waving his hands around to indicate...something, presumably, "to someone who wasn't actually asking that."

Bash pauses to think about that for a moment.

"You'd be surprised how many people have expressed just that to me, pretty explicitly. Usually right before they demonstrate, but not always. But like, if you want dick-sucking to be something you do with your Dominant, letting prospects know that at some point seems like it oughta be important."

"I think...I may have misunderstood the term 'hands-off'," Quentin said, now playing with his coffee cup lid. "I sort of assumed we were talking about literal hands on or off. Is sex not the difference? Or like, at least part of the difference?"

"I mean, not the only difference? Like, I could imagine such a thing as a contract between friends who don't necessarily have sex, but don't just ignore one another. Or between people who fuck but who try not to get feelings involved--that one wouldn't work for me at all, but I'm a sentimental asshole."

The self mockery is shameless, though.

"Okay, well, the point, anyway," he said, shaking his head. "Was that obviously like someone I'm gonna be having sex with I'll hopefully at some point have a conversation about what's good and what's bad. Especially if it's gonna be kinky, anyway. That's not, like, exclusive to contract partners."

[~]

That actually sounds fucking amazing. Apparently we can't even get like books or movies that aren't porn? What if I want someone to tie me up and watch LOTR with me, this is bullshit

Edited 2022-03-03 01:17 (UTC)

yeeeeah unfortunately if you didn't show up here with your DVD box set, you're stuck with lord of the flings. i still don't know how the arcade managed to get so many actual classic cabinets. the guy who originally opened it must have pulled some serious strings. although there are a couple that aren't... quite right. ms. pac-man has a new very porny plot, and some of the boards in tetris have pieces that are still shaped the same way they always were, but are literally just pixelated dicks/balls.

Ugh that's not even a good porn parody title At least pixelated dicks and balls are funny ...Is it weird that I'm sort of offended about their focus on sex when they've got all this d/s framing because nonsexual d/s exists and is being neglected

they are pretty funny, it's true. and like sometimes they find ( rude, always rude ) ways to force us to play up the like not "domestic" i don't think that's the right word. casual? no lol i've been here for so long and i have no idea what terms to use wow anyway it's always pretty sexual, but sometimes it's more about doing things that are inherently submissive or dominant not just like "ooo YOU need to be bossy about sex stuff! and YOU need to ask permission before you come!!" they expect us to fill those "roles" out in the rest of the city too, not just the bedroom. ... i'm not sticking up for this fucked up place btw i guess i was just trying to be reassuring?? 😅

No yeah it makes sense You're saying they do sometimes focus more on the d/s and less on the sex There's people this place would be a total paradise for

Indulge me, please, what is metamath?

So, all of my magic is constructed through math. We know the basic parts of magic, like digits, and you just have to put the parts together the right way to do a spell. You can calculate how to do anything magic is capable of, or figure out what a spell does if you know the parts. We call that process of putting together metamath.

[ Again, Jack is getting that feeling he hates, like he's so far behind the times that he might as well be a caveman. He's more educated than the average man, for his time, much more educated than almost all of his pirate peers, and yet this is completely over his head. If this conversation were face to face, he would be glaring, through no fault of Quentin's. ]

It all sounds very scientific. I always gravitated more towards the arts.

Yeah, magic turns out to be like, not NOT an art but more of a science than an art. I guess the art comes in because there are things inside the magician that affect your spells, some of which are simple like intent and some of which you have no control over

Have you got a specialty of any kind? Besides anal lubrication, of course.

Well. Theoretically, yes. They test for that. Everyone is supposed to have what we call a Discipline. I was "inconclusive."

[can you feel the depression radiating off him in waves]

You're rubbish at it.

Yeah. Or at least, I was when they tested me. It's been a couple of years. I'm like pretty sure my Discipline is somewhere in physical magic, because I can do most of the stuff physical kids can do, but that's really broad. Like saying your favorite place is a whole continent.

Physical magic? As opposed to what other kinds?

Illusion, psychic, nature, healing, and knowledge are the other big categories. Physical magic tends to be the least common category. Illusionists and psychics are most common usually. You'll be better at stuff that's in the same category with your Discipline, and then the specific spells of your Discipline will come really easily to you.

And physical magic has to do with what, creating things? Changing their properties?

Yeah, basically anything that affects like the laws of physics. Inanimate objects, light, matter. I don't know of any spells to physically create something but that would be physical magic. I have a friend whose Discipline is basically the manipulation of light, that's a physical thing. Another friend can move things without really needing to cast a spell, he can just do it

And you're offering sex spells, when there are minor miracles to be had?

Well you said "take a crack at you" as in like try to convince you to sleep with me and I don't really know what my selling points are other than the mouth thing I guess I could have tried a hole pic I didn't think "I can fix a coffee mug real good" was sexy

hole pic?

[ Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to, Jack... ]

You can give yourself a little more credit than that, I think. All of what you just said is more interesting than lube on demand, given that's the way this city runs by default.

Pic like picture

[Please tell him you do not need hole explained.]

What I think is interesting and what other people think is sexy have historically been entire planets away from each other

I see...I will have to decline then.

It might not be inherently sexy, but everyone here is attractive. So what? Better to be useful, I'd say.

I mean you effectively told me be sexy, not be useful, so that's what I did

[He was fulfilling (read: apparently failing to fulfill) the assignment given, and doesn't really understand why it was apparently something else all along. As a socially inept, not-neurotypical nerd, this whole be interesting, be useful thing is frustrating him a little because it feels like shifting the goalposts. Jack may feel like a caveman for his lack of advanced math knowledge, but Quentin feels shitty for yet another social interaction that seems to have taken a turn somewhere that he missed.]

If you want me to discard the "be sexy" brief and just talk more about magic then I can do that because apparently no one likes what I have to say to these "everyone is attractive" comments

I seem to have struck a nerve that I hadn't intended to.

I never asked you to be sexy. I asked you to hold my interest.

[Quentin thinks seriously about, like, trying to ask how the fuck he was supposed to get "be interesting" and not "be sexy" out of "don't dance around wanting me to fuck you" and "take a crack at me," but he concludes that it's not worth it. Maybe he will, later, when his brain has stopped trying to eat itself.]

[He's not feeling particularly interesting, either, but "infodump" is his default setting.]

Anyone can technically do small amounts of magic in my world. If you know the right hand movements, the right words to say, anyone can make some sparks or some wavy lines or some little rainbows. You have to have Potential to be able to channel serious magic, but some people theorize that technically every human has a Discipline, the vast majority of them just can't do anything with it.

Edited 2022-03-06 07:54 (UTC)

Has that power carried over here?

Idk. We could test it sometime. I'll show you one of those simple spells and we can see if you can do it Fair warning it's pretty precise and fussy

I could try my hand at it. At the very least, I would be interested to see it for myself. There’s nothing like that, where I come from, at least as far as I’m aware.

Well, most people who can't do magic aren't aware of it in my world either. Big secret and all

Did you just finish one of the books from the library?

Oh god okay so I wasn't just like objectifying you endlessly, fuck I mean, sorry I guess I sort of still was but it was probably sort of mutual?

It was mutual objectification. Although I wonder if either of us picked the specifics.
Like if one of our subconsciouses decided who was the angel and who was the demon, or if it was set by the book itself.

I feel like I've been the angel in all the ones I've read? I've read a couple. Frequently a fallen angel by the end of the story I think in terms of specifics it was probably some from both of us. Like drawing on our subconscious or whatever

[Unless Caitlin just also has a kink for denying men orgasms, in which case..................marry him]

Edited 2022-03-06 04:10 (UTC)

Mm. So you're just sweet, innocent Quentin. I see.
This is the second one I've read like this. In the first one, I wasn't an angel OR a demon. Just human.

That would explain a few things. [ like how her skin was the same shade of purple that frost's lips are. ] Though, I haven't really been that dominant before. I've been a little pushy, sure.

I didn't come here to be roasted Well, did you like it?

I’m not roasting. I’m teasing.

It was nice. I’m not sure how confident I could be doing it outside of a book.

Well, if you want to try it more I'm open to that kind of thing. Obviously Also obviously fine if you're not that interested There's simple stuff for if you're not confident

No, I think I'm interested. I like being submissive. It feels natural and I enjoy it. But I want to explore this more.

I definitely have some ideas we can explore And like for what it's worth I'm not, like, totally exclusive about subbing? Like definitely sometimes I'm in that mood if you maybe want me to look you up or whatever

Look me up when you want to sub, or not sub?

I'd like to hear your ideas to explore.

I mean, I meant when I want to not sub but both So idk how much nonsexual stuff you've done but I think an obedience test thing might be fun, like I have to talk without moving my hands, maybe you have like a crop or something to tap me with if I fuck up

Both, please, yeah. Though I guess if you're helping me explore, when you want to sub is already built into it.

Dominating in a nonsexual way? That would be zero. But this sounds interesting. I don't have a crop, but I could probably get one.

I have to assume they basically give stuff like that out like candy The crop was just an idea, there's options. Other impact toys or just like a demerit system that add up to something at the end

You're not entirely wrong. But if they ever gave me one, it's lost by now. Most of the doms I've been with either didn't do anything harder than a hand or hairbrush for impact play or had their own implements. And even then, I haven't really experienced more than a hand or a hairbrush.

I like the idea of the crop, but only if you're okay with it.

I mean, if it turns out you're bad with the crop or something I can call yellow and we'll figure something out. A hit with a hairbrush per demerit or something. You're not gonna seriously hurt me in a few hits That's the advantage of doing it in sort of a casual/nonsexual way, I have enough like wits about me to stop us if it's not working Nonsexual might be a misnomer because I'll inevitably get turned on but like you know

You'll just have to help me find the sweet spot with it. I'm stronger than I look, but I'm also not trying to hurt you. Not with the training wheels on. And, on top of that, not unless you decide that's something you want and I'm comfortable with.

Not that I'm calling you training wheels. The situation is training wheels. Hell, it's pretty much one of those toys you sit and scoot around on until you're ready for a tricycle. Then a bike with training wheels.

And if it is working? Does that go from casual into something sexual?

"Training wheels" would not be the worst thing I've been called, trust me. I'm happy to be your training wheels It can if you're interested. If not I probably just like go away and jerk off

It's the sexiest of nicknames, clearly.

Well. I'd hate to do all that, get you turned on, and then not get to see it through.

I mean I think it's pretty sexy to be like the safe space for someone to learn Somehow I figured you'd be in that camp

I mean, you're really sexy already.
But being a safe space and helping me? Extra sexy.

What might have given me away?

You can keep it up with the crop while you you know help me with it or whatever you said. Tbh it's even better during Actually maybe like just in moderation so I don't come in like thirty seconds

But what if I wanted you to?

You WANT me to come in thirty seconds?

It's a hypothetical. I think.

I guess I'm just like, MTV sex ed generation, the guy has to wait so the girl can come or whatever But if you want me to try to get off fast I can? Hypothetically

[Of course, watch him get performance anxiety and this end up being the one time he needs like an hour.]

I don't mind if you come before I do.
Just as long as I do. Unless you're not-subbing and that's part of it.

I don't know. Let's start with casual and see how things go.

So that means you're into denial too, huh?

I am. I haven't done it much, but when it's happened, it's been good.

I was gifted a set of charmed earrings that are basically constant edging/denial. Until I'm given permission.

Noted. That's really interesting actually. I wonder if I could get like a bracelet that prevents orgasms from happening? That might be fun

I am about 99% sure Nate Hawthorne can do something like that for you. He's the one who gave me the earrings.

Also noted If it's a bracelet I could put it on other people too

You'd have to talk to him about that sort of thing. My earrings, only one produces the effect. The other is to make sure that it isn't without my consent.

Not that I think you'd try without explicit or enthusiastic consent. But that's his thought process. Same with the temporary tattoos he does. Those come with a mental safeword to shut them down.

I mean I figure you can just knock a bracelet off pretty easily but yeah, I'll talk to him

I'm overthinking it. Sorry.

No I mean that's relevant information or whatever, that he'll probably want some kind of consent failsafe

Yeah. Before we did anything recently, he had to make sure I was acting under my own will.

[Quentin can...think of reasons why someone would want to be sure of that with Cait specifically. He's getting the shape of it now, and it's possible Nate won't be so worried about a consent failsafe for him.]

[Then again, maybe he'll just be extra worried, what with the Hope of it all.]

I mean that's always a good practice, especially in a city like this that apparently will like put aphrodisiacs in food

I used to be a lot more cautious with eating and drinking things. Businesses, the stores, they're generally safe. But if there's something special going on: a holiday market or a fair or a fancy party, best to just assume anything you eat or drink has something in it.

One time, it was even just like... a spell, almost? The clock hit a certain hour and boom! Everyone is getting naked.

They really have no end of creativity in trying to get us to fuck, huh?

None at all. At least you don't have to worry too much about quota, though.

You know when I heard about quota I started like, forming strategies. Plans. I was not expecting to just quadruple it with no effort

I'd planned to hold out. Before here, I'd only ever been with one person. But then there was a sort of 'tutorial' thing at orientation, and that took care of the first one.

Yikes. I wasn't planning to hold out, but I was definitely like, a place like this definitely has brothels, right? I don't think I had connected that subs can't spend money or thought of a way around that yet

And now you don't have to. If you find a Dominant that's more platonic, they could give you permission to spend money you earn that way. Or even not platonic. But why spend the money if your contract includes sex. you know?

[God. Does she know he's signing with Hope or is that gonna be something he has to find a way to tell her? Quentin may have his own feelings about magically influenced people getting second chances, but...he wasn't the victim of it.]

[Let's just avoid that for awhile.]

Well, fortunately I don't have to think about it. I'm meeting quota by accident and then some. Not some, a lot

That's good, then. I'm glad to hear it. And to help.

So like give me a few days to get a riding crop? And then I'll message you and we can pick a time to experiment with it?

Sure. That works great for me. Or I can get the crop. Either way.

I want to start building a collection, so I'll do it. We can share custody

I get Christmas, you get New Years?

I want every other weekend and half of summer break.

Okay, but I get spring break. And we'll have to switch weekends if Father's Day doesn't fall on my weekend.

We'll switch years for spring break. No fair if you get all of one break and half of the other.

I GUESS that's fair. And that means I can go party every other year.

Oh yeah, that's all you want, huh? What a great mother figure

You're shaming me. Careful. Might turn me on.

Am I supposed to not want you turned on?

Do you want me to be turned on?

Hmm, do I want a hot girl to be turned on around me. That's a tough one

Let me just say, for clarification, that you definitely turn me on, Quentin.

[~]

You know less than you'd think honestly? We had a kid also so like it was kind of a miracle for ANYONE to get time to fuck let alone all three of us

oh bloody hell well there's your problem in a nutshell children barely leave you time for anything at all and especially not fucking

it's really a small blessing that laszlo and i were never able to have any of our own or we'd never get the fucking done

I will say, having done both, a kid is definitely easier with three people than with two. Especially for the baby/toddler period

MEET CAITLIN SNOW, YOU TWO SHOULD TALK ABOUT PAIN PLAY!

I mean I've definitely met you but okay Honestly fuck this city

The city loves to do stuff like this.

I wonder why it picked pain, though.

It's picked different ones for me with almost every one I've got. I'm guessing it's random

The other ones, were they things you and the other person liked?

Not everyone has gotten that far into the conversation yet, but so far yeah

I guess I already knew you were into pain.

Yeah I'm not that hard to guess. Neither are you tbh

You make me feel like I'm an open book.

Idk I just think neither of us really works that hard to hide who we are. That's how it seems, anyway. How you seem to me If I'm wrong maybe it's just because you knew the previous me so you already sort of trusted me when we met

Maybe it's because I do trust you.
Maybe it's too long being here so I don't make a big effort anymore.

I've never really had the energy to hide who I am. I've never even really known how

Life didn't give me a lot of choice.
Life, and my mother.

[Hmm. Clearly, they have strayed away from "who I am" as a euphemism for "what kinks I have."]

I guess I'm just not that smart

Shut up. Don't say that.

We need a new topic.

So how long do you think we can expect the devices to be doing this?

A few days, I hope? Not longer than a week.

Ughhhhhhflsdjgfngkdfddddddddddddd Shouldn't I be exempt because I fuck a lot of people, what point do they think they're proving

No one is exempt.

That they're watching us? That they can make life "interesting" for us.

Yeah I'm like desperately aware of their boyeurism kink I kept that typo on purpose because there's a joke about twinks in here somewhere

Boyeurism. I like that.

I'm sure there's plenty of jokes about twinks to be made.

MEET FAITH LEHANE! YOU TWO SHOULD TALK ABOUT COCKWARMING!

[siiiiiiigh]

hi Faith

Fuck. ANOTHER ONE? This is getting out of hand.
Cockwarming though? That's not bad.
Not that I usually stick around long enough for that.

I can honestly say I have never thought about having my cock warmed

No? Does it never get cold? lol
Or I suppose you'd have a spell for that.

If it's cold presumably the rest of me is cold and then I'm just focused on warming up Like my penis is generally the last part of me to get cold

Think it's more of an intimacy thing anyway than actually practical.
Like a super-snuggle.

Is it? Weird I always figured it would be more about like self-control/denial/whatever

I suppose it could be that too, yeah.
My self-control has never been too great so I probably wouldn't make it too easy on anyone trying to keep it together.
I'm a jerk like that.

I mean it's no fun if it's not a challenge. Being told to be good and then the person making it hard to be good can be you know good

Fuck yeah it can.
Plus I relish to opportunity to show off.
My kegel game is strong. ;)

Well we all need a healthy pelvic floor What happens if I can't deal with it and start moving anyway?

Oh, babe. If I don't want you to move you won't.
I'm a hell of a lot stronger than I look.

Intriguing if slightly terrifying

Part of my charm.

You've got a lot of...charm

[Is that actually somewhat smooth or is he just collapsing into a singularity of awkwardness?]

[It's pretty smooth. At least over text. Perhaps in person, the awkwardness would have superseded.]

Oh yeah? And I haven't even gotten started yet.
You're welcome to stop by and enjoy my 'charms' whenever you like, by the way.
Standing invitation.

Maybe I will then Maybe sometime soon

And maybe I'll let you come.

[......................okay surely she just means that for like, the pun, but uhhhhh]

[how do you ask a woman if orgasm denial is on the table]

Does that mean what I think it means

I'm just gonna leave you in suspense on that one.

[A tease? Her????]

I could repeat the question tbh But okay, noted

MEET HOPE MIKAELSON. YOU TWO SHOULD TALK ABOUT BLINDFOLDS.

We literally have a contract???? Dear city fix your algorithm it sucks Do you think it's named Duplicity partially for the "city" pun

Probably.

It could have been worse. It could have said something like hand-holding or cuddling.

Would that be worse? Well, I guess after the truth mushroom my "worse" meter is probably busted Does this mean you want to blindfold me I don't really have a strong opinion on it

What if you blindfolded me and I couldn't see what you were doing with your mouth or hands and all I could do was tell you how good it felt?

I'm more into that than the alternative honestly So yeah anytime

No one's ever done it before. You'd be the first.

That's fun

[this sexting is going swimmingly]

Fun is good?

Is there anything about me that suggests I should be good at sexting I can send you a dick pic if you want

Maybe you don't give yourself enough credit. You can always just tell me what you wanna do and we can go from there.

But I'll never say no to a picture of your dick. I could send you a sexy photo, too.

Idk if that was a request for right now but if so, IOU. You deserve a better one than I can do on short notice

You know, it's pretty great at any angle.

I have seen angles which would harrow you, there are positions in which no dick looks good

Fine. Later, then.

Anyway do you want like a proper meant-for-this blindfold or do you just want to improvise something I can look for a sleep mask or something with good coverage

Let's find a scarf or a sleep mask.

Can do, will come home with a sleep mask. Also maybe other stuff. Since I'm going anyway

Surprise me.

Can do. Talk later?

[He's got shopping to do, apparently.]

Yes.

[ this photo ]

Good boys don't come but good girls touch themselves while thinking about you.

[So like, to Quentin's credit, if nothing else, he's got some dick pic game. None of this camera flash-lit flesh log with dirty feet in the dim background shit. The picture was taken in his bedroom with the curtains open so there's some good, flattering, natural light. He's on his knees, hairy thighs open, with his free hand resting under his hard dick, giving the impression he's been touching himself already. Much more enticing than just 'here's my cock, I assume you want to fall on it.']

What a coincidence cause good boys edge while thinking about you

[ she knows what it feels like, what it tastes like, and how hard he can get. it's a good photo. ]

Tell me more.

I didn't want to come without permission or you there, so this morning I just edged I want you to decide whether I come today

Maybe later, but not yet. I want you to edge yourself again, as close as you can, while thinking about how I'm going to get off to your photo.

Should I right now, or when I get home?

[He's got magic to make the mushroom-picking a little safer now, but he is definitely out here in the woods again. And very willing to get his dick out right here if she tells him to.]

Right now. Think about how wet I am, how good you are.

Call me if you want and I'll listen to you.

[Another picture. Jean-clad thighs this time, but the same position, on his knees in the grass somewhere. Some tough gardening gloves sit at the edge of the frame so his bare hand can work his half-hard cock, getting up to speed.]

I wish I could fuck you and be sure I wouldn't come. Good boys don't come

Good boys wait to come until they're told they can.

You're such a good boy for me, aren't you? So good to wait.

It feels so good to edge for you I don't know whether I get to come at all today and that's making me really fucking hard

I think tomorrow, as a reward for being my good boy today, I'll let you come.

[He's gonna switch this over. He's gonna edge soon, and he wants her to see. Maybe tell him if she wants him to do it more than once. So she gets his face, just briefly, before he flips the camera to show his hand working over himself, slicked a little with spit.]

You don't have to tell me. [His voice is a little raspy, a little needy, and quiet so as not to attract attention.] Can just let it be a...a surprise... Wanna fuck you, you're so...

[He thinks of fucking her and only being allowed to edge inside her, and whimpers as his cock gives a little spurt, letting go immediately.]

[Breathless:] Good boys don't come. Good boys don't come. Good boys don't come.

[ her sigh is satisfied as she listens to him repeat his mantra. ]

You're so fucking good, Quentin. My good boy, so good. When you get home, I'm gonna let you fuck me until you're close, edge yourself over and over again.

[ she hums, then tells him: ] Do it again for me.

[The promise to let him edge himself stupid with her cunt nearly makes him do it again, and he has to take a couple of deep breaths before he can handle touching it again. He's already talking under his breath as he does, reminding himself.]

Good boys don't come. Good boys don't come. Good boys stay hard and needy and pretty. Good boys don't come.

You are the prettiest boy I know.

[ fingers dip into her cunt, the sound of wetness likely audible through the phone, but she turns the camera so he'd be able to see her touching herself, fingers moving in and out like he wants his cock to. ]

Watch me. Think about your cock fucking me, think about how good boys don't come until they're given permission, Quentin. Do you want to fuck me? Do you want to feel my wet cunt around your hard cock?

[It's enough to make him cry out and pull his hand away, edging for her again. For her. It feels so good.]

Edited 2022-03-13 00:00 (UTC)

Are you mine? [ she moans for him, his name, extra quiet as her fingers slide over her swollen clit. ] Do you want to be my good boy and fuck my pretty cunt with your hard cock over and over?

[ another soft sound as she gets closer to her own climax. ] Tell me that's my cock and how much you're mine, Quentin.

I'm yours. [Her laying claim to his cock is enough to make him shudder with need, but he doesn't try to touch it, not without being told. He shouldn't touch her property without permission, after all.]

My...mm. This c-cock is yours, my lady. I'm yours, I'm yours, I'm so fucking yours.

[A little hesitant about the cock thing just because it's new, and enough of a turn-on to make him shy, but no hesitation saying he's hers.]

[ it had just slipped out, not something she'd meant to say, but hearing him parrot it back to her is even more of a turn on. her fingers become even more slick, sliding even more easily in and out as she fucks herself with her hand. ]

All mine, Quentin, you're all mine... I'm so close. [ her breathing has become panting. ] Touch yourself again, slow and steady, and watch me come for you.

[A heavy exhale, preparing himself, but he does it. A hand wrapped around lightly, stroking slow from base to tip for her viewing pleasure. He doesn't speak, all she can hear is labored breathing.]

[ he does and she watches that slow stroking, closing her eyes as she imagines what it feels like. ]

You're such a good boy, Quentin, following all my directions, doing what you're told-- [ her breath catches, fingers moving over her clit again. ] I love your cock and the way it feels inside my cunt, making me come...

[ then she does, crying out his name as she comes all over her own fingers. ]

[Quentin shudders and maybe edges again, just a little one, and lets go of his dick as soon as he's sure it's okay, watching the way her hips buck against her own hand, aching for that to be his hand, his mouth, his cock. He keeps the camera on his denied cock until she indicates that he can move it, resisting the urge to keep touching.]

[It would be so fucking easy to just pull and pull until his back arched and he spilled across the ground.]

[ she pants and breathes and shivers her way through her climax and when it's done, she lets the camera linger on her soaked pussy. then she turns the camera so he can see her lick her own fingers, her eyes still lust filled. ]

Don't stop, Quentin. Edge again, then come home so you can edge yourself with this. With me.

[He lets out a needy little whine, but he wraps his hand around himself again.]

Good boys don't come. Good-

[He goes totally silent as he edges this time -- biting his lip, not that Hope can see it -- and quickly lets go. He's gonna have to stay here and wait a minute, lest the pressure of his jeans as he walks be a risk to being good.]

[ there's a sigh as she stretches out again and hums her approval. ]

Good boys don't come and you're such a good boy. My good boy, Quentin. Such a good boy for me, stroking that hard cock. [ a pause. ] Come home and be with me.

Soon.

[He's breathless as he shifts over to lean on something, dick still out, and then flips the camera to show his face, flushed and wrecked.]

I just...need a minute. [He drops his head back against the tree he's leaning on and pants.]

Do you wanna come? [ her voice was tender as she looked at him, wanting and hot. ] Do you wanna feel my cunt, what it did to me to watch you edge yourself? I wanna feel you taste me, get all hard before you edge yourself using my body...

[A pained groan that dissolves into a pained laugh.] You are not making this any faster.

I know.

[ she sounds amused. ]

Tell me what you're thinking anyway.

[He shifts so he's more sort of curled up on his side.] Um. I'm trying to think about...baseball? I don't know anything about baseball. Fuck I wanna be inside you. Ummmm. Fillory is as popular as it is because it's about these kids who were real and lived next door to the author and the kids disappeared a few years after the first book was published.

[Of course, this leads him to thoughts about Plover, which is actually a boner kill. If anyone deserves the library's poison room, it's him. Hey, the poison room is definitely not sexy! Okay, he's calming down now.]

That's probably not what you were expecting me to be thinking about, I just realized.

It's not. [ she pauses. ] Did it work? Can you walk now?

Sorry. [He'd love to basically sit here and play more but he'd rather get home, and to do that he needs to chill out.]

Ummm...not yet. Getting there.

More baseball.

[ her tone is amused and she shuts the video off. ]

It means I can't tell you what I'm doing while I wait.

Honestly I'm sure I could get horny about baseball if I tried right now.

[There's some sounds of him shifting his weight, and then deep, slow, controlled breaths.]

Okay. [One more breath.] Okay. I'm gonna. Attempt. Getting my pants closed.

You can at least, like, get horny to how fucking long this is taking me, that's like, something, right? Like proof that- ow- proof that I'm really fucking hard for you.

I like it when you're hard for me.

[ her tone is soft and gentle and affectionate. ] I always want you hard for me. Thinking about me and fucking me and putting your mouth on me...

[ she trails off. ]

As long as you're still able to walk.

[A half-muffled groan, but he's got it in his jeans now, so it's contained if she's a little mean. The compression of his jeans is helping a little.]

Okay. Okay, let's... [A small sound of effort as he gets up, then footsteps as he goes to retrieve his bag, set a safe distance away.] Okay. I'll be home in like...I dunno, half an hour? However long it takes me to get there basically.

I'll be waiting upstairs. Naked.

[ and she will, even if it takes the full half-hour. she has nowhere to be except waiting for him to come and play with her so she can talk dirty to him. ]

Quentin was still a little hard about it when he arrived home -- three edges and then friction from a lot of walking will do that to you. But it didn't take him the full half hour, at least, before he was in the door, taking off his bag and jacket. He'd acquired a plastic bag for his gloves and mask, just in case, so he put them in, then put the whole thing in his satchel. Feeling relatively safe from getting dosed or dosing Hope, only then did he take his boots off and head upstairs.

"Hey," he said at the door to her room, and felt the urge to kneel right here for her. Like he shouldn't stand in her presence. That was maybe a little intense, so he tried to split the difference a little, coming to the edge of the bed before he knelt. "I'm home," he observed astutely.

"I see that."

She'd known the instant he was in the house, tracking his heartbeat, then his steps, and now that he's at the edge of the bed, she leans over to cup his face and kiss him deeply. Every part of her is aching for him; nipples hard, pussy wet, and her skin is practically on fire as she thinks about him wanting her as much as he does.

"Tell me that you still want to edge yourself using my cunt," she whispers against his lips.

Her saying it against his mouth made him shiver, his jeans getting tighter already. He was already aching from the pressure, so he reached down to open them, not trying to get them off yet, just freeing himself with a sigh of relief. They could talk dirty for a minute with his dick out, it was fine.

"I wanna edge," he breathed, and kissed her again. "I wanna edge in your cunt, and I wanna make you come with my mouth when I need a longer break. Please." Another kiss. "Please, my lady, will you, will you let me edge in your cunt? Please?"

He was keeping it contained there on the floor, not letting himself squirm or anything, but his need felt like it was bursting out of him.

"Oh."

It came out a breathy sigh against his mouth as she kissed him again. "Such a good boy, just for me, I love it." Another kiss, passionate, her fingers curling against the side of his face. "Do it. Slowly, for me, edge yourself. I wanna feel it, hear you beg me to come--"

She tugged gently, urging him silently onto the bed with her.

Quentin got up and stripped his clothes off in record time, then followed her onto the bed. Manhandling her a little, he arranged them into the position that would work easiest for this: on their sides, facing each other. No complicated angles required, nothing that made either of them support their own weight, but easy to pull out when he needed to.

Once they were positioned, Hope's leg up over his hip, Quentin reached down to take hold of himself, rubbing the head of his cock between her lips, teasing them both for a moment. He took a long exhale as he came to rest in the right spot. "Good boys don't come," he whispered. Slowly, he shifted forward, letting out a desperate sound as he sank into her. "Good boys don't come. Good boys don't come."

"Good boys don't come."

It's a quiet echo of his chant as she mouths his neck, then his collarbone, nibbling there as she leaves a small mark with her kiss. The urge is there to fuck back against him, but she doesn't, putting everything she has into letting him fuck her to the edge. "Good boys go right to the edge, but they don't come until they're told."

Another kiss on his jaw. "You're so good, aren't you? My good boy."

Panting softly, he pulled her closer, arm around her waist so they were chest to chest, stomach to stomach. He was trying to control himself, go slow, but he couldn't help it. After just a few moments he was fucking desperately into her, fast and hard, chasing the orgasm he knew he couldn't have. He buried his face against her neck, just closing his eyes and letting himself rut. He was in control enough that he'd be able to stop when he needed to.

There was something about it, knowing that he was going to stop, that he wasn't going to let all that desperate fucking end for himself that turned her on, too. That he was using her body to get off mentally, but not physically, and Hope simply buried her face in his neck in return and held him as tightly as he held her. She squeezed around his cock, but didn't fuck him back nearly as desperately because she didn't want to throw off his rhythm or cause him to come when he wasn't supposed to. She just wanted him to have this as much as he wanted it.

Most of all, she liked the way he held her as close as possible to do it.

His hips stuttered once, twice, and then he pulled back, all the way out with a pained sound as his cock jerked, spurting a few drops against her.

"Good boys don't come," he whined against her shoulder, just clutching her tighter. "Good boys don't come. Good boys stay hard and needy, and, and, and don't come..." He couldn't help it, he sank back into her, thrust a few times, and then pulled out again with a ragged gasp. The edge wracked his body with a shiver.

"Shhh."

Bringing a hand up to his hair, Hope stroked it as she echoed what he was saying, her words murmured against his ear as she held him tight still.

"Good boys don't come and you're a very, very good boy. Oh, Quentin--" She pressed a kiss to his head. "So good, you're so good. My good boy," she told him again, another kiss. "All mine."

She did not pull back or pull away or move in any way. More than anything, she wanted to be open for him, for the edging that he'd wanted.

Quentin let himself swim in the praise and soothing, let it wrap his brain in a soft blanket. He shivered again as he slid into her, his thrusts this time slow and long. "It hurts," he whispered. "It, it hurts, it hurts so good, it feels so good to e-edge for you..." He pulled out with another gasp, and then a tormented moan. He gave himself a little time, fifteen or twenty seconds, then slid inside again.

"Good boys don't come. Good boys edge and edge. Feels so good..."

"All for me," she reminded him as he did it again and again, her words spoken directly into his ear. "Because you're my good boy and I'm all yours, Quentin. Yours to edge for, your perfect cunt to edge with." Taking his earlobe in her mouth, she bit lightly. "Yours."

Holding tightly, she hummed when he said it again, then mouthed another kiss against his shoulder.

Quentin edged himself inside her a few more times, then pulled back a little further, panting and kissing all over her neck. "Need a break," he panted. "Can I, my mouth? I wanna make you come, please, you make me feel so good, please..." It would be a good way to come back from the edge a little, make it easier to do it without coming, while ensuring that he stayed hard and needy. Plus, she was spoiling him so well, letting him edge with her cunt like this, she deserved a few solid orgasms as thanks.

As close as she'd been with just his edging, it felt like a come-down for him to ask, but this wasn't for her - it was for him. So, she nodded, then gently pushed him in that direction. It wouldn't take long for her to get off with his mouth, though if she was hoping to keep him from coming until the next day like she'd told him earlier, she might have to banish him to another room.

He was not in any way done edging -- she was probably going to have to tell him to stop, eventually. But a break would only improve things, so he slid down, staying on their sides so his dick wouldn't have anything to grind into. He urged her leg up alongside his head and let his tongue slide into her cunt, moaning at the taste, at how wet she was.

Everything about her was ready to come, so as soon as he put his mouth on her, she felt it start and her hand went to his head.

"Wait," came her breathless order, pushing him back. "I just-- it's a lot for me, too. I'm gonna come right away if you do that and I just." She breathed deep and then nodded. "Okay."

That caught his attention, and Quentin licked his lips, looking from her pussy to her face and trying to gauge if he could form words right now. "Do you not..." Ugh, talking felt antithetical to his entire existence right now, but he was Interested. "You...edge?" he asked, looking up at her again with those big eyes. Because he was definitely down to edge her too, if that was what she wanted.

Fuck no, she did not edge. She wanted the orgasms as much as he wanted to give them, she just needed a second to mentally move from cock orgasm to mouth orgasm and it was a lot for her. She'd never, not once in the city, been part of something where someone was just so into giving that she still felt a bit self-conscious about letting herself just have them over and over again.

"No, no--" She took a deep breath, turning her head so she could look at him. "I just. I'm good. You're good, I'm ready."

Okay, that was fine, he just wanted to be clear. Because edging her with his mouth would be hot as fuck, he just wanted to give her what she wanted. So he went back at it, licking into her once more. He'd learned the techniques to use when she just wanted to fucking come, no dancing around it, so he did that, ready to dial back the intensity once she had.

Of course she came almost immediately.

The way her thighs clenched against his head, Hope had to remember to loosen her grip so that he could breathe and to let go of his head so that he could back off just a little and every little thrust of her hips, fucking his face, she had to calm herself because, in the span of a few short weeks, he had become expert in how to lick her cunt. He knew every spot to tease, how to drive her over the edge, and how to ease her back into nearly there territory. How to make her whine for more, beg to come, and tell him that he was the best boy.

How to scream his name.

Quentin did back off once she released him a little, already eager to be inside her again, but knowing he still needed more time or he was going to fuck up. He kept it a little easier now, giving long, slow licks to the sensitive flesh.

Hope simply didn't have the patience that he did, or the self control. Once she knew she was going to come, she was going to chase that high until it hit, then let him bring her to another one and then another. And now that she was calming down from that one, she could feel his mouth teasing and soothing and getting ready to go again.

"You're so good to me." She practically crooned the words, her fingers smoothing through his hair as she pushed her hips gently toward his mouth. "Such a good boy, not coming until I say it's okay. Making me come all over that pretty face."

Quentin made a soft, pleased noise at the praise and the petting, putting a little more effort in again. He'd work her up slow again, get her off a second time, then he could crawl back up. He just had to try not to think about that, about how it would feel to be inside her again, or he wouldn't calm down enough to handle it.

"You know how much I love the way your mouth feels on me, how much I love--" Hope gasped as her cunt spasmed against his mouth and she whined as her next orgasm stayed just out of reach. Rolling her hips up into his mouth, she tried again, her thighs tightening around his head for a moment before falling open again. "-- love that cock when you're fucking me."

She moaned more praise - such a good boy, so fucking pretty, best fucking tongue, wanna feel that cock - for almost another minute before her climax hit and she shattered against his face.

He kept working on her through it -- repetition was the key to most women's orgasm, and he wouldn't dare fuck up his lady's groove -- and pulled away only when he was sure she'd ridden it out.

Quentin crawled back up, then, already kind of antsy for what he knew was coming next. He didn't go right for it, just kissing her first, running a hand down her side and over her hip.

The kisses were wet and sloppy and Hope knew what came next, too. Even though her body had had orgasms, it wasn't the same as having him inside her; it was a little addicting, listening to him coax himself to the edge, helping him do it, and then feeling him stop. She knew he liked it, loved it even, that feeling of not coming, but she also liked the way his cock felt inside her. As much as she said she didn't like edging for herself, she was part of it, too, when she let him tease her. This was something she liked.

"Good boys don't come," she reminded him tenderly, fingers stroking through his hair as she pulled back to look into his eyes. "Good boys stay hard and needy and don't come unless they're told they can."

Her saying the words to him so lovingly, so sweetly, made him feel drunk. He nodded, biting his lip as he shifted into place, then letting out a shaky moan as he pushed into her. "Oh, fuck, good boys don't come," he whimpered, slowly rocking against her.

"Such a good boy, aren't you," she said with a soft kiss, tasting herself again. "Good boys stay hard, so hard, so they can edge themselves and stay needy. Hard cocks that don't come," she murmured against his lips, legs locked around his thigh as she rocked up against him. She was so wet and so hot, just from his mouth that she couldn't stop the soft moan as he pressed into her. "My good boy."

Quentin edged and edged inside her, until he couldn't talk anymore, until he couldn't think, until there was nothing but her and the ache. He took longer breaks as needed, but eventually, as he pressed inside her again, he just whimpered and pulled back immediately.

"Can't," he managed to gasp into her shoulder, clutching her close and shaking. He'd been shivering for a bit, and it was only getting worse.

"You're so good to wait," she tells him, then pulls him close, careful not to touch his cock. "Let me hold you. Just like this--"

It's gentle and she presses her lips to his temple, then the top of his head. "Lay with me. Don't touch yourself."

He nodded, keeping his arms around her and away from himself. He turned his head, giving his sweaty face some cool air. Once he was over the shivers a shower was definitely in order. "Fuck, it hurts," he whined softly. "Hurts so fucking good, my lady, thank you, thank you for..."

Quentin didn't know how to articulate anything this complex right now, really, so he fell back on something reliable. "Good boys don't come," he whispered. "Good boys don't come."

MEET WADE WILSON. YOU TWO SHOULD TALK ABOUT HAIR PULLING.

[well, that's just rude.]

I mean my hair is long for a reason I guess

Good. Cause it'd have to be yours being pulled.
I'll balder than Patrick Stewart.

I've pretty much been letting anyone pull my hair who wants to. I guess I could like...scratch your head

Aw? You would? I'd like that actually.

Like in a sexy way or just like a platonic way

Sexy is always preferable. But I'd take some platonic head scratches too!

I'll sexy scratch your head if you sexy pull my hair

You've got a sexy deal!

Are we sexy doing anything else or just various activities with each others scalps

Maybe some sexy backgammon. I also wouldn't be opposed to sexy sex.

I don't know how to play backgammon so I guess we just have to do the sex

You drive a hard bargain.
You've got yourself a deal.

Obligatory hard joke

quentin you hate being comfortable

[ohhhh boy here we go]

[the fact that he still wants to be friends is all that keeps him from asking if Huaisang has hit his head]

I what

I offered you a nice pleasant comfortable lube and a masochist's lube infused with ginger and peppers. You barely had to think about it. You volunteered to be spanked and objectified in front of an audience. You don't like being comfortable. You like being pushed. And challenged. And forced so far out of your comfort zone that you can't even see it anymore. So how and why did you insult my taste and my gender identity in my topic of expertise on an excuse of wanting to be comfortable when everything else I know about you says that you hate being comfortable?

[This takes awhile to come back. Quentin needs to work through a lot of shit here, including the fact that pretty much none of that is how it looked from his perspective.]

Okay first I'm sorry I insulted you because I really was trying really hard not to. I'm really sorry that I failed. But it doesn't matter what I meant, it matters that I hurt you, so I'm sorry Secondly you didn't offer me the comfortable lube? You mentioned that it existed but that's not the same as saying you can have this or that. And even if you had, pain and discomfort aren't the same. I like pain. Irritating lube is 100% in my comfort zone because that's not a new kink to me. The first person to ever put ginger up my ass was me

[He considers pointing out that he didn't volunteer for the demo either, Huaisang asked, and then considers a foray into "maybe don't assume you know me from two interactions" but again, needlessly combative. He's trying so hard not to be a dick here, and anyway, "you don't know me" isn't a useful statement. Explaining what Huaisang has wrong about him is.]

Stuff I'll do for the length of one scene or one time having sex with someone is not the same as stuff I want to do for the whole length of a party I'll be at alone and it's confusing to me that that even needs explaining

That makes sense. I understand better now. Apology accepted. Sorry that I'm sensitive about the masculinity thing. It somehow always seems like a game that the rules are always changing except that no matter what, I'm doing it wrong.

[Quentin exhales. Now that they're officially, like, Not Fighting, he can deal with this a lot better.]

I'm sorry again. I didn't know it was a sensitive spot for you You look so amazing in the stuff you wear I guess it never even occurred to me that it might be that kind of issue I've never really been given any problems about my masculinity or sexuality so I'm really lucky and privileged that way

It's... very sensitive, and the hurt goes deep. Usually I can brush it off but today I couldn't understand what you wanted and what was wrong with what I was offering and it felt like that again. Like all those times I was mocked and insulted because I always failed at being 'masculine' whether I tried or not, so then why try. Um. I know I don't know you well enough to say but, um. ... You remind me of a friend of mine back home. He always tried really hard to follow the rules and do everything right and be honorable and manly and all that, and he did, I really admire and respect him, but he always used to get ... really sensitive about topics like masculinity and sexuality even though he always insisted that he'd never had any problems and he wasn't sensitive at all. Um. You just... kind of remind me of him because earlier you seemed... very sensitive about masculinity and sexuality for someone who's never actually had any problems with it.

[His kneejerk response is to say Huaisang is wrong, but...in the spirit of reconciliation and friendship, he tries really hard to sit with that for a minute, to ask himself if maybe Huaisang is right, or at least a little bit right. The answer he comes up with...isn't yes, per se, but.]

The way it feels to me is more like I'm just sensitive about my body and my appearance in general? People in Duplicity tell me I'm cute or whatever and I haven't been here that long but there has not been one time when it didn't feel like a cruel lie or a setup for a joke. Look at the stupid ugly troll, so stupid he doesn't even know he's ugly, so ugly it's hilarious that he could ever be attractive I've learned that people don't like it when I react that way so I mostly just keep my mouth shut about that feeling So, I guess what I'm saying is I don't FEEL sensitive about masculinity but maybe that's kind of part of what's inside the thing I am sensitive about Does that make sense?

Yeah. It makes a lot of sense. You know, before I came here, I don't know if I'd ever once been told I was attractive unless it was part of a joke. I'm not what my society considers attractive for a man, and I'm not a woman and I don't think I'd be good at pretending to be one even if I tried. It took a long time after arriving here to believe that people meant it when they said I was attractive. I just ... after a while, when I kept failing at everything I was supposed to be and do, I just gave up and did the things I wanted to do instead. And I was spoiled and wealthy enough to get away with it, even though I never stop being ... punished, in one way or another, for not being the kind of man I was supposed to be. I just accepted being a laughingstock because at least it gave me some measure of freedom to get away with being myself.

I'm really sorry to have poked at that in any way I know you said apology accepted but I'll probably apologize a couple more times anyway The last thing I was gonna say before I left was "Hey Huaisang I would really love it if you could help me find a nice suit" because sometimes it takes someone yelling "why didn't you just say that" at me to figure out what I should say, but I understand completely if you still want me to ask someone else for help

Yeah. I just--maybe you've gotta find a different measurement for attractive. By the measurements where I come from, I'm unattractive and useless. So yeah. You're almost definitely an ugly troll by some measurements. But there are some other measurements where you're cute. And some measurements where you're masculine. And so maybe you just gotta decide which measurements and which opinions and which world and life and society and people you want to be measured up by. Hmm. I can do suits but you're better off with half a dozen other employees at Plumage when it comes to suits. Unless you want to start learning corsets with a corset vest to go with your suit.

[That all is just...a lot to process. For someone who has needed to write himself scripts for every situation, for someone who needs to try so desperately hard to land anywhere close to "normal," for someone whose literal brain simply is not wired and does not work in the way the society he was born into expects it to...it's gonna take him a long, long time to digest that idea.]

I'll try to keep that in mind How about I ask someone else for help but make sure to show you before I leave?

Perfect. Good plan. I look forward to seeing the results.

You'll see me in Plumage tomorrow, then. Thank you for texting me, also. For not just leaving it shitty

Edited 2022-03-29 03:46 (UTC)

well i still had more ways to tell you that you were wrong

[oh my god]

I would like to point out I also didn't volunteer for the demo, you asked and I was like yeah I'll try it and the result of trying it is I likely won't do it again unless I know everyone in the room

proud of you

??? For what

taking a risk. Trying something new.

Well, if you can't do it in Weird D/s Porn Parody City, where can you? I told someone the other day it was like arriving here and my magic working again rattled me so much that I forgot to have walls? Like self-protection? And instead of reminding me why I protect those parts people have really dug them which is not what I would have ever expected to happen but much better than the alternative

[Huaisang understands the concept of satire, but he doesn't quite understand how it's being applied here, and it instantly intrigues him, the idea that this is a satirical reflection of some other society.]

What is it a parody of? Is it something specific? What is the non-parody version like? I'm... glad that you have been appreciated for the things that you were shy about. Self-protection is still important, but trying new things is very good.

It doesn't have to be of something specific, calling something a porn parody is just a joke people say when things are unnecessarily horny Actual porn parodies are usually parodies of real things but usually the satire isn't any deeper than "what if this was horny" I'm working on getting the self-protection in place enough to not get hurt if someone does decide to poke at me

I got a gift from a guy before a date the other night. It's not necessarily weird, but it is different.

Guessing it's not a sexy gift. What is it?

Actually.

[ she sends him a picture. it's two pairs of electro stimulation pads, one set adjustable o-shapes, the other two more vague. ]

Oh yikes I mean yay if you're into that I like the obvious nipple-trodes

I'm interested? Never experienced it before. But curious.

I wonder how it'll interact with my nipple piercings.

I hope it's good for you

[Quentin will be over here yikesing out of his skin!]

Probably not that much, they make this stuff knowing that piercings exist

Thanks. It's just odd because... we didn't even discuss something like this? Not that I'm complaining.

That's probably true. I finally got to play with one of the charms again.

Seems like a pretty big swing on his part. Giving someone a sex toy could be an okay way to flirt with someone you're already sleeping with, if you are, but I'd probably have stuck to something with more universal appeal You could have been like me who's had literal nightmares about electricity Charms? [He's pretty sure he's never heard of any magic on her piercings, although he remembers about that one pair of earrings so it would make sense. It's also entirely possible he's been told and forgotten.]

We had some mushroom-induced wild times. And a little something else.

Shit. If I'd known, I wouldn't have shown you, Quentin. I'm sorry.

Each piercing has a different effect. One is ropeless bondage. The other increases sensitivity.

What's the something else? Don't worry it's okay as long as I don't have to interact with them personally Oh that's fun. I'm gonna make myself a bracelet that has an effect I just have to sit down with the metamath and make sure the Circumstances won't mess with it

[ It's like... 2am when these texts come in, what's up Quentin. ]

hey, turbo slut
awake? 💜

Barely Hi

don't worry, you can stay in bed

[ Here, Quentin gets a picture: a selfie that's not quite a nude since nothing's really on display, even though it's clear from the angle and the way it cuts off that she is, at the very least, not wearing a shirt or bra. ]

daddy is bored though 💔

[o h]

Oh

Hi

Okay I'm awake

good
want to see more? 💜

I'll take whatever you're giving daddy

hah i bet you will

[ Next: a little less face, a little more tits, but she has her arm draped over her chest in a way that covers anything too spicy. ]

give me a reason to move my arm

[A picture. Quentin's still in his t-shirt and pajama pants, a blanket shoved down to upper thighs, gripping his cock through the pants to show the outline of it. He's not that hard yet so it's less impressive than it could be, but he's sleepy and it's an attempt. The blankets at least look inviting.]

there we go

[ The next picture he gets, it's a waist up picture of her laying on her back in bed, sheets haphazardly bunched up and pushed aside around her with the pink and purple lighting of her bedroom cast over her body, exposed tits and all. ]

i still think about when i let you fuck me at the club
do you? 💜

[He types "I think about a lot from that night" and then has the sense to delete it. He's Doing His Best.]

Yeah

I think about you on top next time maybe

i like to think about me on top too
you'd be a good boy for me, right?
let me fuck myself on your cock until i'm shaking?

Yes. I want to be good

show me
be a good slut, touch yourself and show me

Maybe I don't want to

Maybe I'd rather just get you off and wait for you to be touching me

hmm...

[ Another picture: her head's not in frame anymore, just the ends of her purple hair around her shoulders and - oh yeah, with the angle on this one, she is definitely fully naked. Not covering her tits anymore, her thighs are in frame now and closed around a hand she has between them, not letting him see more than that. ]

really, turbo slut?
want me to pretend my fingers are yours?
fuck myself thinking about you while you wait? 💜

Edited 2022-05-19 18:31 (UTC)

Careful what you wish for because now I'm thinking about not being allowed to fuck you, having to use mouth or fingers, and that's hot too

hah
i didn't know you liked being denied so much, turbo slut

[ Did she?? She doesn't remember what his sexy slut ad said right now, and she's too busy to bother checking. ]

sooooo
would you like to watch me instead?

[He's pretty sure the finder said something about it, but the ad probably didn't give the kink as much weight as it deserves, it's true. Then again, it would be hard, in an ad like that, to give appropriate weight to all the important kinks. Word limits and all.]

Yes please

[ Another picture: her thighs are parted this time, her hand's still between her legs, and her clit is technically censored by the fingers she has pressed against it. ]

yes please, who?

[god she's hot]

Yes please daddy

there's daddy's good boy 💜

[ Fucked around and found out she likes him calling her daddy, apparently. Next picture: it's not a picture, actually, it's a video clip that's only a few seconds long. But that's all the time it needs to very clearly show her thighs spread wider, and her hips slowly rolling as she rubs herself with her fingers, the video cutting off just as she audibly breathes out a pleased sort of noise he's heard from her before. ]

[She can have a picture back of the tent in his pajama pants, showing that he's not touching himself. A show of what she gets to touch, next time she sees him. Quentin honestly doesn't know if she's as into denial as he is, or whether a picture like this is hot to someone who isn't as into denial as he is, but he's giving it a shot.]

[ Her interest in denial is mostly within the context of her being the one in control and denying the other so, this suits her just fine. Unseen: the way she gently bites at one of her fingers when she sees his picture because fuck yes she likes it. ]

good
no touching, just me

Yes, daddy Are you gonna come thinking about how bad I want to

hmmmmmmmmm
maybe
maybe i'll come thinking about you watching me
not like this, within arm's reach
maybe closer
closer closer only you're not allowed to touch you or me you're only allowed to watch
which, hm
is that the same thing?

I'd break. I'd have to touch you. I couldn't keep my hands to myself I'd just have to make you feel so good you don't feel like punishing me

watch until you almost break
then you can touch me
use your hand on me, turbo slut
how many fingers?

Three. I want you to feel it for a minute after

three...

[ Followed by: another short clip that's focused on her hand between her legs. Even in the low, purple light it's easy to tell she's wet and that her fingers are slick, before she's pressing them inside herself with a little shudder and a moan as she presses one, two, three inside.

It's kind of obvious by now she's texting either one handed or with voice to text, likely through her own personalized screens rather than her device. ]

like this? 💜

exactly. You look so good I want you to come thinking about me

[ Hands are still busy, obviously, he can fill in the blanks without visual, but- ]

how bad turbo slut tell me how badly

Please come, I want to see you all All messy and lazy Come on, pretend it's my fingers, come

[ On one hand, she thinks she hardly needs him at this point. On the other, he's all she can fucking think about, her eyes are closed and she's imagining his hand on her, his fingers inside her instead, and she barely has the attention to type, even with her own hard light keyboard so-

Video. She's switched fully to video so he can see her, trembling thighs closed around her hand as finally she comes, moaning like she's done for him before as the feeling tenses and washes over her, kicking the last of the sheets still on the bed off as she rides the high and, eventually, comes down with a laugh. Messy and lazy, sure - she lets him have that, her thighs and her fingers when she withdraws them clearly slick from her own pleasured mess as she lays happily in bed catching her breath. ]

How's that, turbo slut?

[It takes him a minute to answer. He's barely noticed that his own device has switched to video, so Sombra gets treated to a painfully horny look and a nerd who's a bit short of breath, panting lightly.]

You're amazing.

[God, he's so hard, but it's so good to just suffer it for awhile.]

I know.

[ With the high fading and her breath slowly coming back to her, Sombra stretches with a little laugh. Eyes half lidded as the cozy feeling of pleasure hums in her body, she grins at the look she sees in Quentin's face, thinking, quite quickly, that he's fucking adorable. What a good boy. ]

Hm, what about Daddy's good little slut? You really haven't touched without permission?

[He turns the camera around -- not turning on the back camera but physically flipping the phone -- so she can see when he pushes his blanket down. There it is, hard and needy under unrumpled pajama pants. He lets her get a good look before bringing the camera back to his face.]

Saving it for Daddy.

[ Ah, good, very good, she likes seeing that and it reflects in the look on her face, the way she bites a little at her lip when she first sees it. Even if he's not looking at her, he'll be able to hear her making one of those pleased little hums she so often produces in the way she audibly exhales a breath. ]

Bueno. Daddy'll be with you in a few days to collect. Be ready for her.

[He's been avoiding this for days. At first he didn't even think about it. He spent an entire night being whoever anyone wanted him to be, and they all seemed to enjoy it, so... his responsibility is over. Right?

But, of all of them, Quentin seemed the most like a puppy and he was a volunteer so maybe Jamie is a little responsible for him. Sigh. It takes him hours to even write a text the day he finally decides to do it. What is he supposed to say? It was fun being your husband do you need to talk about it or anything?]

Hey, it's Jamie.
just checking in with all the volunteers

[He really isn't.]

Hey Checking on how we are? I'm okay, I didn't really do anything there that was out of the ordinary for me

[you know except the husband thing SWEATS fortunately, he is not bright enough to pick up that this might be special for him.]

How are you?

[Hmm, texts are fine and all, but... He calls and waits for Quentin to pick up, hoping it's surprising enough that he just answers.]

I'm peachy, my dear. Always. [There's an easy smile in his voice, but his tone softens as he continues.]

I think there was at least one out of the ordinary thing. Which is why I'm checking on you.

...Yeah.

I don't know. I'm. [Uncomfortably long pause.] Fine.

[Bingo.]

Don't lie, my darling. It's unbecoming and that one wasn't very good.

[A small sigh.] I don't know. I mean, I am fine, in the sense that I don't feel like I'm gonna just...break apart if someone touches me, which was kind of the worst case scenario.

[He's sitting on his bed, picking at his blanket where the fabric has pilled.] I guess mostly I'm just...sad it wasn't real. Maybe a little mad at myself for like...just getting into it and letting myself believe, you know?

It was real for a little while, [he says gently.] I've let myself believe worse things.

[He knew going in that this might have been a bad idea, but that wasn't enough to stop either of them.]

He seemed good for you.

[Quentin was sort of toying with the idea of switching to video, letting himself see that Jamie is his own person who is not Eliot, doesn't even particularly resemble him. But when he feels the way his face draws in at that, wanting to cry, he dismisses the option.]

He was. When he got out of his own way.

He, um. [huff.] So I told you about being married to him and stuff. How we were together a long time but it was another timeline but we got the memories back and all.

Well, he and I have that in common. [He manages a smile, but he can hear the tightness in Quentin's voice.]

You did tell me all of that, yes.

Yeah. Well. He, um. So we got those memories, right? And I was like...we should, you know, give it a shot, we have this...this proof of concept that we work, right? And he said, um. [Another long pause, because he can't trust his voice.] Well, um, he said no. He said some...really shitty things, actually. So it's just...a lot of...complicated feelings.

Um, you were like, amazing though. Like...kind of the crux of the whole thing is I just wanted to feel...like loved and wa- [Jamie can probably hear how he was kind of cracking at the end of that, and he takes a deep, shaky breath to control his voice.] Wanted. By him.

[What an ass, he doesn't say. Because Jamie very well would have done the same, depending on where he was in his life. Perhaps he was the ideal choice to be Eliot after all. But he also knows how it feels to be Quentin here, the crushing heartbreak of--realizing that someone may not love you the way you thought they did.]

We are more alike than you know, my dear, [he says quietly.] But I can't say I would have done anything different in your shoes.

[Jamie sighs and he taps the screen to switch to video. Why not. They can be heartbroken together.]

I'm sorry if it hurt you.

[Reluctantly, Quentin allows his device to switch too. There are a couple of tears on his cheeks, and the biggest, wettest, saddest eyes in town.]

I don't...think it did. I think it's just...I'm trying really really hard to be...to be okay about it? If not to be over him, then like, not to let him run my life? [Pause for him to hide his face in his arm, trying to control it. He's crying anyway now, in that tears are falling, he's just trying not to weep.] Sometimes I wish I could just...erase it. I know I don't really want that, but. It's just so fucking hard, and then people tell me about the version of me and him that were here before, and they were...

[He grabs a pillow from behind him and wraps his arms around it, hugging it close to bury his face until all Jamie sees is pillowcase.]

[Jamie isn't crying, but there is a deep melancholy in his expression. Maybe he should have done this in person, but he doesn't know if holding Quentin's hand would be any better.]

It's exhausting to hear about other versions of yourself. I definitely know that.

[Quentin just...needs to cry for a second. Not very long, but if he just lets it out he'll be able to talk like a human in another minute. His face is red, when he lowers the pillow, and he's still sniffling, but he takes a deep breath.]

I don't know. It felt good in the moment but I probably shouldn't do anything like that again. I don't think it...helped me, long-term.

[He lets Quentin cry, waiting quietly until he can see the man's face.]

No, I don't recommend it.

[He's quiet again for a moment, gaze averted as he looks at the middle distance.]

There was someone I loved very much. He was... everything. He saved me. [Sort of. Sam was also the reason he ended up in Arcadia, but that isn't the point.] He told me he loved me. He helped me remember who I was and helped us all escape. And I can still remember the exact look on his face when he said months later that I was a pretty little fool to think anyone would love me.

Edited 2022-06-10 23:14 (UTC)

[Quentin flinches at that, like witnessing a physical blow.] Jesus. That's so shitty.

Yeah, it was. That relationship eventually got a lot more complicated, but, what I'm trying so say is I know how it feels to love someone with everything you have, and to wonder if it was ever real.

[He meets Quentin's gaze through the screen.]

He shouldn't have been so careless with you, or cruel.

[Quentin sort of...blinks and looks down a little as that lands. He nods, then looks down at his lap.]

This all was, um. Like a month or something before I came to Duplicity. Which was in February.

Last time I saw Sam was right before I came here. This place has a shitty sense of humor.

[He offers a small, lopsided smile.]

I'm not going to tell you to not be sad or to not mourn. That's a big loss on top of a shitty, involuntary life change. [When he says that out loud, he realizes how fucking cyclical his life is.]

But I hope you won't let it keep you from... I don't know. Being open to the possibility of being better.

[A restless little sigh.] I try really hard to...to keep my attention here. On people who are choosing me.

And there are plenty of people choosing you, my dear. And I suspect more than a few who care very deeply for you.

[He won't say love because he can't promise that and he doesn't know, but. He's willing to be there are people who love Quentin, too.]

It's hard for me to remember, too.

[Deep breath.]

Someone said I don't deserve to feel insane every time I think about him. I think that's...true, but I don't know how to get there.

It takes time, [he says.] But... I think a good starting place is not trying to make yourself not think of him. But don't let yourself drown, either. Glance off it like a stone skipping. And I realize all of that is easier said than done, but. It's a place to start.

[Glance off it like a stone skipping. That's...a good way to put some good advice. But.]

I don't know if I'm...capable of that. This is all, uh. I'm not. Um. My brain doesn't really...work. The way my, um, world says it's supposed to. So. That sounds like the kind of thing that would be easier if it did. I don't know if I can, like, think of him and not...fucking cling to the thought. But, um. I can try, I guess.

I can't recall a single day in the last several years that I wasn't afraid of something. And I have days when I'm not sure if anything I'm seeing is real. So, I get that. A little.

[Jamie shrugs one shoulder and looks down.]

Letting go of the things that make us feel good and worthwhile are hard. Even when they're killing us, one way or another. But it's worth trying.

[He looks up again to meet Quentin's gaze and a faint smirk tugs the corner of his mouth.]

Maybe try meditating with someone who knows how.

[That does help more than anything, actually, knowing that whatever Jamie is, he's probably also in the mental illness boat. This isn't some neurotypical going "but why don't you just sit still?"]

I tried meditation once and it was, uh. Awful. Like I was awful at it. All I could think about was all the things I could be doing that weren't that.

[Jamie grins because, yeah, same problem. Sort of.]

I just kept going places I didn't want to go. Focusing on my breathing and my body, apparently, are not actually the best ways to get me to chill out, apparently. But if you were getting distracted, maybe a guided meditation could help? I mean, if it was still something you wanted to try.

[He shrugs one shoulder, because he's not about to urge Quentin to do something that'd get on his nerves.]

Maybe. I mean, trying can't hurt I guess. I think if I had something to focus on instead of trying not to focus on anything it would be better.

...Is it weird that, uh. Sex is kind of the thing that gets me to chill out and focus on my body? Like...like kink, especially?

[can he start saying he has to sub out because it's meditation, he needs it for his mental health, this is an important question]

No, that's not weird. Like, at all. [He is quick to assure Quentin of that.] Having someone else take control? The chance to just let go, feel, and know you'll be taken care of? And also wore the hell out? People pay for that and they will pay dearly.

[He says, from experience.]

Honestly if I wasn't getting it regularly enough just, like, from partners I'd probably pay for it, yeah. In this place, anyway.

That was probably a nonzero part of the whole thing with...Eliot. Knowing I could get that whenever I needed it.

There's something deeply comforting about knowing that. It's stability. It's safety. Especially with something that requires a lot of trust - or it should. [He gives Quentin a little look, just because he strikes Jamie as someone who would maybe be a little less safe if he thought the payoff would be there. Do as he says, not as he does.]

[Quentin may be an idiot but he definitely catches that look.]

I mean...what is trust in this place? Some people would probably say I trust people here too quickly. But no one's really like...punished that, yet? Sometimes people give me a bad vibe, or a weird one, or a vibe I can't figure out, that's a lot of people honestly, and I don't trust them? But I feel like most people here essentially want to be good to each other.

[He's sure he's been lucky. But when his submissiveness -- his openness, his givingness -- has been rewarded over and over it's hard to guard his heart like he should.]

[He thinks immediately of a few people who do not have an essential interest in being good to anyone.]

Just be careful, darling. You're one of mine now.

[The sentiment makes him smile and chuckle a little bit.]

Congrats on adopting your new Quentin. Sorry about all the messes he'll make.

Oh darling, you aren't my first puppy. And you probably won't be quite as difficult to keep on a leash as he was.

Yeah...

[please enjoy this moment of staring hornily into the distance as quentin contemplates being on an actual leash]

I mean, uh. Well. I do my best not to be too...uh, rambunctious? That's a thing puppies are, right?

[Oh, he will.]

As long as you don't chew on any of my shoes, we'll get along fine. Or try to dash off into the Hedge whenever you're feeling homesick. That was... difficult.

[Chasing Frankie into the Hedge on more than a few occasions was both terrifying and dangerous. And more than once Jamie was tempted to just let him go.]

The Hedge?

I mean, I do kind of feel homesick but also home sucks right now and I can't even do magic there, so...it's more of a wash than anything.

Yeah. The thing that separates our world from Arcadia.

[He knows not everyone has heard about it or knows it exists, nor should they. But Quentin... seems like an okay person to talk to about it.]

There's parts of home I miss. Other parts... I'm fine being away from.

[Quentin doesn't know what Arcadia is, but he nods. He's used to dealing with Fillory, which has its own specific methods of travel back and forth.]

Yeah. Same. I miss people, mostly. I do have one friend from home here, but we kind of...live our own lives? But I don't know, I miss my best friend, Julia. I miss...Alice. [Conspicuous lack of defining that relationship.] I don't know if I should like, wish for them here? I shouldn't wish this place on anyone. But also like...I already talked to my partner and she promised that if Julia showed up and was a sub, she'd offer a contract if Julia wanted.

Hello.
I don't mean to bother you, but I've heard you have a talent for fixing things.

Hi! No bother, yeah, I'm pretty good at mending spells. What do you need fixed?

A broken glass slipper. There are many small pieces - it was made by magic.
I would pay you for your time.

Okay, the more pieces of it you have, the easier this will be, but it can be missing a few and the spell should be able to compensate. Is there an actual spell on the shoe that needs repairing too, or just the physical object?

[A glass slipper, after all, does not sound super comfortable, so some kind of softening spell would make sense.]

I believe I have all of the pieces, though some of them are very small.
I'm not sure. I do have the other slipper, if that helps.

Oh, that helps! Yes, definitely bring the unbroken one and I can check it over. If there's no magic it'll only take me a couple of minutes, if there is magic it could take up to an hour. But it's not too hard either way, I just have to do some math to either repair the spell or put a similar new spell on. Are the pieces in a bag or box or something? If they're just loose I can come to you, since that sounds hard to transport.

I've kept them in a box. It was the present I received from the city.

Where can I find you? I appreciate your help.

Oh, yikes. [He can certainly see why a broken thing might represent a painful memory.] I'll have it back in shape, no problem. I guess you can come to my house? Or I'll be at the Wild Pony working tomorrow night, if you want to do that

I won't get you in trouble if I show up at your work, will I?

Nah, I take breaks so I'll be able to do the physical mending right then and if there's anything magical coming off the other one, I'll take them both home and give them back to you the next day. If not you'll just be able to take them back no problem.

[ two days after his network post, there is a parcel addressed for quentin. it’s wrapped in brown paper and has a thin braided copper bow.

there’s a note attached: ]

Happy birthday.

--S. S.

stop whatever or whoever you're doing
I have something to show you

[ Is this his way of trying to make amends? Maybe, but he won't say it. ]

Why do you think I would even be looking at my phone if I was doing a whoever

does it matter?
I just want to show you something so are you busy or not?

I'm not busy. What's up

how many random gifts has this place given you and are they alive...ish?

??? I mean that's a complicated question They gave me one of my old hospital bracelets a couple months ago but idk if that's a gift None of them were alive though no

well. I'm staring at one right now
I think cancer puppy's come back from the dead

[ And for proof, he'll just send him a cute picture of the old man. ]

!!!!! holy shit that's him do you think he knows i killed him

does it look like I know what he might be thinking?
he's sitting in my apartment if you want to see for yourself

Idk you're with him Does that mean I can come over

I hate to tell you this but he just looks like he's 150 and ready for a nap that isn't the eternal one in doggy heaven.

[ There's a long pause over that. ]

come over if you want to see him

[Okay, well, now he can sense that it's Weird and why the fuck did Eliot tell him all this if he didn't want Quentin to come over and see him?]

I mean I don't have to if you don't want me to

[ He's not the one making it Weird. ]

stop stalling and get over here
I want to see you too

[You can't just leave a long pause and then be like oh~ I'm not the one making it weird~, Eliot.]

okay I'll be there in a little bit, I'm not far away

[ It's called New Parental Responsibilities, Quentin. ]

great. just let yourself in
I've got my hands full

I will

QUENTIN

DID YOU SEE

ON THE NETWORK

IS THAT HIM???????

[oh no]

I saw. It's him

Should I go beat him up for you?

No, he hasn't done anything Like he REALLY hasn't done anything He's from before the timeline where we were together

Oh. Oh, love. I'm so sorry.

Poor Quentin; this place hasn't been kind to you lately, has it?

I'm just avoiding him until I'm ready to deal with that tbh Like, I don't know when exactly he's from but I can tell it's pre-puzzle just based on how he's talking He's a different person. He's my friend, but...

I get it.

I mean I don't, really, I don't even know what I'd do if someone I knew, but- earlier- showed up here. [Young Layla. Young Donna. Good lord, that's a terrifying thought.]

Is there anything I can do to help? Get him talking, maybe. Try and figure out when he's from for you. A secret little spy mission.

[He can just picture this: Steven being like "yeah, uh, just curious, friend, what's the date?" in the middle of something completely different. Quentin might be stupid in love with him, but subtle he generally isn't.]

Don't, it's okay. I'll figure it out when I'm ready to deal. Or, very likely, when the city decides it's time for me to deal. I at least want the bruises better healed before he sees me

[Harsh, but fair.]

All right. I, um- I did message him. Does he know you're here? Should I avoid mentioning you?

He doesn't know I'm here. You can mention me if he asks or if I come up or something but maybe like...don't tell him how recently you've seen me? Like let him assume I might be gone, you know? Does that make sense?

Yeah, it does. I can do that.

[One thing he's gotten quite good at is hiding the truth.]

So, um

My sub's taken off for a few days- maybe a week, maybe less/more- she likes to get out into the woods, get back to nature. It's an elf thing.

If you wanted to come over, for some of that.... or more than some... you're welcome. Anytime.

Otherwise it's just me kicking about the place on my lonesome.

[Especially when Marc's still playing least-in-sight after the big blowout.]

And Bernie. But he's a bonsai, so he's pretty quiet.

That sounds...really good, actually. I could use a change

[And literal days of not having to take a collar off!]

Do you wanna like, go get dinner or a drink or something and then go back to your place? At least pretend we do something other than fuck

That sounds really nice, actually. I'd like to treat you to something nice. Anywhere in particular you like to go? I, um, haven't been many places, yet. Not food places. Mostly drink places.

IF you want- I could bring a collar in my bag. No pressure, just- if you'd like to wear it, you know, out. But if you'd rather keep that to behind closed doors, you know, I get it.

Wearing it out sounds nice. If I decide I don't like it I can take it off, no big deal. Bring the green, maybe?

[Not that he expects Steven to get grabby with him in a restaurant, but there are, you know...options, on the walk home, and it means he won't have to swap it out when they arrive. Plus, the white is a lot...louder than the deep green. The deep green blends into the shadow more, but the white kinda screams "I'm a collar!"]

Do you like diner type stuff? Like [he almost says burgers, then remembers Steven is vegan] fries and veggie burgers and [what do vegans eat for breakfast food] ...fruit? I don't know, also open to suggestions

[His eyebrows go up a little, at that. Does that mean he's feeling better? Or at least, a little less bad? Steven should still be careful. Not just leap on him.]

Diner food sounds lovely. Cor, but I'd kill for some nice greasy chips about now.

I am gonna absolutely fuck up some chicken strips. I'll drop you a pin to a place and we'll meet there? In an hour, maybe?

Till then- laters gaters.

[It's hot, today. Hot enough that Steven's finally forgoing trousers and button downs, and borrowed some of Marc's things; a faded, second-hand t-shirt and some pale cargo shorts. He waits outside for Quentin, ambling up and down the sidewalk, and lights up when he comes into view.]

Hi, pet. [A hand reaches out for Quentin's face, brushing a thumb against his cheek, when he's close enough.]

Edited (Formatting fail) 2022-07-25 03:47 (UTC)

[continued here]

ok i think its finally time to throw in the towel and admit it

[ Prepare for a confession. Jeff's coming clean and revealing big secrets! ]

i'm a bottom

[...............]

"Finally admit it?"

yeah
cuz i was always telling everyone i'm a switch

[ He... he was really convincing, right? ]

You were?

[It's possible Jeff has said this to Quentin and Quentin simply edited it out as obvious nonsense.]

yeah
and i mean like when we fucked i topped...

[ Did Quentin know even then that Jeff was a bottom in denial? DID HE KNOW BEFORE JEFF? ]

i did good right?

You did! It was fun

[Hmm how to gently point this out.]

I do think maybe it helped that I was high. I had some aphro drug to help me deal with being looked at. And it was a really structured situation, no one particularly had to direct things even if it was their dick going in I mean no one doing the actual fucking

[ Hang on, it's going to take him a moment to get what Quentin's very gently getting at-- ]

wait
dude....

does that mean i bottomed even when i thought i was topping??? that's a lot to wrap my head around

I mean, subbed instead of bottomed, but yeah

oh yeah that's right
subbed

level with me dude
was i totally obviously a sub and a bottom this whole time???

I don't consider myself necessarily good at reading that kind of thing But I'm definitely a sub and a bottom and I never really seriously considered you as a potential partner, if that tells you anything (You're awesome and hot, I just didn't think it was gonna be there sexually)

fuuuuuck
i never thought about that before
cuz you're awesome and hot too and normally i'd be all over that but it's like when you try to stick two magnets together on the wrong sides

Exactly And I consider EVERYONE I think could be compatible with me Like everyone Like it's embarrassing actually

hey at least its not as embarrassing as telling everyone you're a total switch when they can all see right thru you

[ Does Jeff have some insecurity going on? YOU BET. And it's for the dumbest reason ever. ]

What I tend to tell people is that I switch sometimes but I mostly bottom so you could try that?

yeah but then i'm kind of admitting they're right
i mean...

ok look the only reason i started telling everyone i'm totally into switching all the time is because people kept assuming things about me and i wanted to prove them wrong

[ That's what it all boils down to: YOUTHFUL REBELLION. ]

it's not fair when total strangers can see you, you know??

Counterpoint: when total strangers can see you, they're not expecting anything you can't give and you just can relax knowing no one is gonna ask you to top

yeah but

[ .......... ]

fuck you're right

Honestly my life is SO much less stressful when people don't think I can so they don't bother to ask. Try it

ok that's a good argument for it
man
you're fucking wise

Wisdom is my dump stat but thanks That might not be true it might be dex or con. It's con

[ Oh no, that's a good joke, but unfortunately: ]

wait what does that have to do with taking a dump

[ Don't even get him started on 'dex' and 'con' because he doesn't know what that means!! Con... artistry? ]

Sorry it's a stupid joke There's a game a lot of people play where the character you're playing as gets "stats" which are basically a set of numbers saying how good they are at basic stuff. Wisdom is one of them, so are dexterity (how fast and nimble you are) and constitution (how healthy you are)

fuck that sounds hard

[ ............ ]

wait is this the one with the dice and papers?
dungeons & dragons?

Yep same one. I think it was sort of underground in the 90s but it's more popular now

oh yeah my little brother's really into those
he's got all the books and these little figurine dudes? i never really figured out how it was supposed to work

man... it sounds like all the nerdy shit he loved got big in the future

[ Ugh, now Jeff's missing his family again. ]

It really did! Somewhere around the late 00's, nerdy stuff became cool somehow Not actual nerds, we still got shoved in lockers

aw man really? fucking assholes... that's gotta be such a kick in the nuts dude

at least my bro's future self can be happy i guess
god he'd be like...... in his 30s by then

30s is definitely young enough to enjoy it

yeah i know
it's just weird to think about cuz he's not even 20 yet
then i get to thinking about what i might be doing in the future or if id even be alive or what
but i guess it doesn't matter

Yeah I get that. I mean, I hope you'll be alive

me too! but i cant even imagine it really
before i got here i was so hung up on my life going one way that i never thought about any alternatives
you know what thats like?

Yeah, definitely. I didn't even really expect to make it to the age I am, let alone see some of the shit I've done

hey quentin. do you have a minute?

Hey, sure, what's up?

do you remember what you told me about what happened to eliot
the possession?

Yeah. The monster didn't have its own body, so taking Eliot's was a good way to motivate us

when he was possessed, how did you differentiate between what was the monster and what was him?

Well, the main thing was that lying wasn't really a concept the monster had. It wasn't actually trying to make us think it was Eliot, it was enough that we knew he'd die if the monster killed the body, and it could just take a new one. So the mannerisms/personal hygiene choices were very different I could also just...feel it? I'm not sure how anyone else's magic works, but a magician from my world can feel an energy off powerful things. Eliot didn't have zero energy but the monster had way more. Also if I looked at him through a basic reveal I could see something wasn't right What's going on?

the short version?

i'm in love with a demon with a split personality. he has a side that's his conscience, and a side that's just
pure demonic evil really
they're the same being, but their personalities are distinct.

i want to make sure the nice side stays in control so that the evil side doesn't present itself and murder everyone here

Hmmm. Shit.

[Quentin takes a minute thinking about this. If it's the same entity with different sides, most of his immediate knowledge doesn't necessarily apply. But he thinks he can still help.]

Demons aren't really...a thing, as far as I can tell, in my world. Like there are things we traditionally classify as demons but they're just magical creatures that people were afraid of. And then there's stuff like malevolent trickster gods or ancient eldritch monsters that can't reason but it's pretty hard to go up against a god and win

My two thoughts are some kind of bracelet or something with a spell in it that anchors the good side? Reminds him that he's got reasons to stay out? And then an alert spell of some kind that goes off if his energy changes

Does it change? Or is the bad side always kind of radiating even when it's not dominant?

i don't think it changes right now

future me and my friends did a spell to help bring him balance, and anchor him

that's why he's in control of himself now.
i feel strongly about making sure that holds. it's only been two months for him since it happened, and none of those months were spent in a city that makes its name out of bringing the worst out of us all

Hmmm yeah it's hard for me to come up with specific ideas without observing the differences between them You said future you did it, do you KNOW the spell? Or do you have to reverse engineer it?

[Reverse engineering is something Quentin's good at, at least!]

Actually I might know a spell that could get us the pieces of what's on him, if you could put them back together

i think future me invented it but not alone. he had very significant help

i can try to reverse engineer it but anything i can do alone won't be better than what future me could do with my sister and anna

that's why i'm looking for people who might have expertise

Well, you've definitely got me for whatever help I can give. Even if that's just extra hands casting

[Having some magic to lose himself in for a few days will be a nice change from constant social anxiety.]

thank you, i appreciate that

and everything you said. i mean it.

❝

DUPLICITY CITATION No. 18519
Violation: Housing Violation
Fine: 1 day Realignment
Payments must be received within 30 calendar days, or debts will be handed over to the Remittance Facility.

❞

[ So she's clearly seen what he posted to the network, but Sombra seems to have decided she wants to privately text him in response to it - not respond to the post itself, private or not. ]

ay, you didn't tell me your birthday was coming up
but it's okay, i forgive you
feliz cumple mi amigo 💋💜
having a good time, birthday slut? did anyone get you a cake? or more hair, like you wanted?

Yes to both. Also a frankly unnecessary number of birthday spankings If I'd wanted stuff or a big deal or anything I'd have told people in advance

hah, you mean even turbo sluts get tired of spankings?
ay c'mon, it's your birthday!!
which meeeEEEeeans ✨
you can be as selfish as you want and nobody can complain about it

Listen. I can literally only take so many before I can't sit for a week and that eventually gets annoying Although I took it easy enough that I'm recovered now and you could give me a belated one if you want

i don't know amigo, i don't want to give you the same thing everyone else gave you 💔
besides
you looked like you might need snuggles more than spankings, in your video
have you recovered from that, too?

[Ah yes. That thing.]

I'm probably not gonna be recovered from that for a long time. But I'm okay. All the visible stuff is mostly healed now.

and the non visible stuff?
if you need me to deal with someone for you i will, you know

It didn't happen here. Have you heard about that thing where you go into a coma and go home temporarily? Well, that happened to me for a minute, around the time we came back from the other city, and all these injuries are from home The shortest possible version is that I've been the caretaker for a monster with 10x the power of a god and the emotional sophistication of an infant while it was possessing the body of my ex-husband, for about 6 months now

i have......

ay ok i don't know what i expected but
so what, a monster wearing your ex like a sock puppet is the one who did that to you?
where is it now, back home?
who's your ex husband anyway
and the god monster? why were you caring for it?

Because it would have killed me, and a lot of other people, if I didn't. At least if I stayed with it I could SOMETIMES talk it out of killing people it didn't need to. My ex husband's name is Eliot, and he's actually here, but it's a younger version of him. He hasn't done any of this yet, including being married to me or even particularly in love with me. About as far as his romantic inclinations have ever gone was the time we were both in a threesome. [That's definitely more information than she was asking for, but you know, there's kind of just a lot of shit in his brain right now. Ask questions and it comes spilling out. Sombra's seen this kind of stress response from him before.]

Yes, it's back home, and yes, it did all this to me. This is the least of what it did to me. This is just the things it did that left me functional enough that it didn't get tired of me yelling and heal me after a few minutes.

ay...

[ There's no such thing as too much information with Sombra. Yet at the same time: it's not quite what she was expecting. Or- honestly, she doesn't know what she expected. Magic and monsters are still new concepts to her, but at the very least, she's quick to find the important threads. ]

that's a lot of responsibility for one mage
ok what's important is that thing isn't here, then
if it DOES show up
or if eliot lays a hand on you
you come to me, ok? i can find a way to deal with anyone, or anything

Eliot would never hurt me. I mean, he might be careless with feelings, but he'd never lay a hand on me. I can't stress enough how much the monster was just using his body and really had nothing to do with Eliot's mind/consciousness Anyway I appreciate the idea, but this thing can kill with a thought. The second it realizes something is up we're all toast. It broke my arm once by moving its pinky an inch.

i can still deal with him if you want me to, you know
hands or no hands

see ok that just sounds to me like you just need to make sure it doesn't have a chance to know what's up
simple

No, it's okay. People approaching him because they know about me and him hasn't done anything but make things worse. It also can't die

aw, are you telling me you already have an army of people telling eliot to fuck off? 💜
but ok fine
no dealing with him

and ugh whatever ok listen, it's not here right? that's the important thing
still come to me when you need me
that point still stands

Not on purpose! I feel bad because he literally only has descriptions of what people are telling him to fuck off for In my defense of all the options for them bringing Eliot, "before he did any of this shit" never occurred to me

fine i can play nice when i meet him

[ "When", not "if". ]

ay the timelines and multiverse and whatever bullshit here is stupid sometimes, lo siento q
i guess i'm lucky i didn't get a 20yo cole ugh

Yeah. Like a year or two ahead of me seemed plausible. That would have been fine It could be worse, it could be an Eliot who's never even met me.

hey so uh, you know how i said i had a crush on you when we were younger

sorry i didn't tell you about it

That's okay. I mean, I didn't tell you about mine at the time either. Although it probably wasn't subtle I just sort of always had it in my head it was totally one-sided so finding out it wasn't was a little bit of a headfuck

Do you think if we kissed now it would be awkward?

Gross

Okay, okay it's awkward

I mean if we had to like repopulate the planet or you were gonna miss quota or something I'd help you but yeah it would be super awkward Maybe we're not even compatible I have specific needs

Quentin Coldwater are you saying that I, as your best friend, am not capable to suit your needs?

I'm offended.

The funny thing here would be to ask if you do specific shit that I like but idk if I want the answers and I don't know if I believe that you want to know

1. Are you telling me you have a kink list
and
2. You and I have known each other since we were kids. Of course I want to know. I can't be a good wingwoman if I don't?

[No words. Just a file attachment:]

Favorite Pain stuff (mild to moderate) -I've been SUPER super into pain stuff recently so like, come at me -spanking and hair pulling are always really good, just learned I like face slapping, specific details can be mood dependent but I definitely want you to hurt me Oral (giving) -includes throat fucking, being rough, slightly unusual positions, face sitting Vaginal (giving) Anal (receiving) (actually just kind of assume I'm on the sub end of stuff unless otherwise noted) Orgasm denial -includes edging and teasing, can include not coming at all for up to a few days or a week. I have a bracelet that prevents me from coming if I want to do it for awhile -I also really like asking/begging to come and being told no/knowing I can ask and be told no Praise kink I guess Anal and oral at the same time (usually one is like fingers or a toy) Cuddling/affection Daddy kink Yes definitely Aphro (controlled use) Choking Body writing Dirty talk (I am bad at doing it but hearing it is really good) Discipline/rules (depending on the rules and punishments, I don't really want to feel like I'm fucking up or like I'm going to) Gags (have only tried ball gags but open to any in-mouth options) Collars/leashes (haven't actually done but in theory) Objectification (less like "indifferent to you like furniture" and more like "prized possession") Rough sex/pushing each other around a little Overstimulation/exhaustion/making me sore Body or body part worship (giving) Sex with clothes on Free use (like it doesn't matter whether I want it or not, it's my job to be available) Sure if you want/doesn't bother me Ageplay Oral (receiving) Anal (giving) sensory deprivation (blindfolds or earplugs etc) Rimming Really good but circumstantial/can also be bad Consent stuff (like I pretend to be saying no but there's a safe word so we know no means yes) Cockwarming Being called female terms Really large penetrations/fisting Same-hole DP Threesomes/multiple partners at once (in sequence is fine) Magic during sex -basically tell me about any magic you want to use before we do it and maybe demonstrate when we're calm. I'm definitely not against this but I have to know what to expect Pain stuff (really intense) -is it weird that i want to try front spanking Maybe Creative positions (mostly these hurt my back) Being a brat (mostly this is unpleasant and happens when I'm panicking) Public stuff Chastity Begging -this kind of depends on what I'm begging for. Can be really frustrating but also just naturally happens sometimes None for me Degradation/humiliation/anything that makes me feel shitty Electricity Gross body stuff (like bathroom stuff or spitting) i don't have a specific safe word, i just use colors/traffic lights. i like being able to call people something other than their name when we're doing kink stuff so tell me if there's specific terms you like or don't like. i also like being called things. feel free to experiment as long as it's not super mean or degrading or we can talk about it

Oh I like your hair like that

[he FULLY has not noticed the fan]

It's cute, isn't it? Do you like the fan?

Yeah it's

[oh. 😳]

[...he chooses to send that, just because he knows Huaisang will enjoy the effect.]

Is that like a legit request or

of course it's a legit request have you met me

[No words, just an attachment.]

very artful, it's lovely. thank you.

I'm glad you like it. I try to take good ones instead of acting like a dick is an accomplishment on its own

Strongly approve. If you'd ever like to work with me, I can do either photography or painting. I'd enjoy painting you. Or painting on you.

Photography might stress me out. But painting could be nice I think

I'd like that. We can make a date of it. Come over and I'll paint you.

Sure. Should I wear something good or is this a tasteful nude situation

Definitely tasteful nude. I can show you some of my other nude paintings if you'd like.

I would like but I already know they're gorgeous

Good boy, flattering me. Do you want to come over now or shall we set a date for later?

[Even over text, for a totally predictable reason, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy.]

I'm not busy, but whatever works for you

I'm bored of doing my actual work. Come over.

I need your opinion on something, please.

I'll try not to sprain something thinking about it

Oh, shush.

What’s a good gift to give a Dominant you’re contracting with? She specified “something we can share.”

It's probably the fault of this city that my first thought was a double-ended toy. Food? Alcohol? What does she like, do I know her?

My thoughts went there, too. I’m blaming the city.

According to your finder entry, you do. Illumination?

Oh! Yeah I do. Honestly she might be amused by the toy idea tbh. I feel like...she'd appreciate a variety? So I might even do one of each. A toy you could use together (not necessarily double ended because her anatomy isn't really the same), a bottle of something, and like some chocolate or something. Or like...something that's kind of unique that you like and can share with her as a sort of like, here's also a way to get to know me about it? I feel like she'll enjoy basically anything mildly clever. This is probably less about the gift and more about what you do with the instruction. Like testing to see what you're like

I feel like I have more options now instead of less.

She tried to tell me that I didn’t need to give her a gift, but she’s going to give me a collar. I was thinking maybe a crop or a flogger? Maybe a bottle of that wine I like from Crimson. Or maybe some coffee, small batch roasted? And hmm. A dessert I like? I don’t want to do too much, but I don’t want to do too little.

I'd say pick two, one consumable and one not. A flogger and a dessert, or the wine and...I don't know, a leash for the collar. If you're into that.

I’ve never really tried it. But I’d be lying if I said the idea of being on a leash didn’t turn me on.

So the leash and the wine? Do you know if she drinks?

I want...to say she does? I can't remember what we drank when we met up. But even if she doesn't I feel like she'll appreciate the attempt. That's part of why a two-part gift is good. She might not have a liver but she has hands.

God. The sound I just made at that last line.

Okay. So I think I have that settled. Now just… nerves until then.

<3 I think you and she are a really good match. I'm excited to hear about this happening

You think so? I hope. I feel like she’ll meet some of those needs or wants that I’ve been missing in the whole Dom/sub relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t say I hate any Doms I’ve had, but some, like my current one, just leave me unfulfilled.

Yeah, I get that. I mean, I've only had one so far and it's not that Hope, like, leaves me unfulfilled at all but I can imagine a situation where I felt that way. I'm letting mine with Hope expire. I'm gonna ask Steven if he wants me but if not I'm gonna be on my own for a few weeks.

You really, really like him, don’t you?

I think he’d be a fool if he doesn’t take you.

I kind of might be in love with him. I don't know.

Why don’t you know? Are you just unsure, or is there something that makes you question it?

The former I guess. I mean realistically I can't say I know him that well, for one thing. Also it feels really dumb to fall in love here?

Then get to know him better. And it’s not dumb to fall in love here. Or anywhere. You fall in love, you fall in love. For me, it’s not something that can really be helped.

Well, hopefully a contract will move us in that direction. I guess it's just...scary.

And that’s okay. It’s scary, but you’re not going to let that stop you from asking, are you?

Yeah, I'm not. I mean, I'm waiting until we're closer to the time. The current one expires 9/9 so I'm gonna ask maybe a week before that? That's long enough to plan for stuff, right?

It should be, yeah. Time to discuss contract terms, talk through things. I don't know if he has another sub currently, but that would give time for him to discuss it with them. Figure out housing arrangements after that.

He does. I've hung out with her a few times, she seems fun. I definitely wouldn't mind being her sister-sub, if he wants to keep her around too. She suggested ambushing him with a threesome together already and she doesn't even know about any of this, so I think she wouldn't mind too much.

It sounds like she's into both of you. Sounds like it'll make for a positive, enjoyable arrangement.

Should I ask her first, actually? Is that weird? Do I leave that to him? What's the etiquette? I don't know if either of them cares about the etiquette, they've both been here less time than me.

I don't think it's weird, necessarily, but I think maybe it's best left to Steven? Any time in the past when I was signing with someone who had another submissive, they always discussed it between them first. He may already know how she'll feel about a brother-sub.

Okay, that's fair. I've been going back and forth about telling her I have feelings for Steven. I don't know. I don't know why I even want to do that, it's dumb. I haven't really had feelings this strong for anyone else. The closest I've gotten was Hope and, you know, mostly she didn't have another sub to tell about it

It's not dumb. She's someone that's close to him. Telling her has a chance of giving you some insight into how he may feel about you, what she may know.

Hope obviously never confided anything like that in me. By the time you two signed, she and I were in a very weird place.

Yeah, totally understandably. I knew there was fucked up history so I tried to just kind of keep my hands off it

It was very messy. And now it makes me feel weird for... I don't know. Wanting to feel that kind of compulsion but consenting to it?

I don't think you should feel weird. I mean, consent play is basically the world's most popular kink. Like fifty percent of women or something and like a third of men have some kind of nonconsent fantasy

I have a few different fantasies. Well, I guess the finder showed that. I just don't want to have people treat me like they did when Hope made that post.

Yeah no the consent is important. I did see the post, I don't really know what went down after it or as part of it. I think for me it's that I already kind of feel like I'm worthless all the time so I need to be sure that my partner does not think that, or it's just reinforcing that shitty feeling. I need to know, in some part of my head, that this is happening out of like, mutual respect and pleasure

It better be happening out of mutual respect and pleasure. No one should make you feel worthless or shitty. And if I hear about it, I'm doing something about it, whatever their designation is. You are so wonderful, Quentin.

[It's kind of...cute? Touching? Something, that he was at least 50% talking about her, just using I statements and relating it to his own feelings to make it a little less pointed, and she went into protective mode anyway.]

To be fair no one has to MAKE me feel worthless. I just do. I'm working on it. Just keep that same energy for yourself, please, okay?

Do I need to text you some daily affirmations, or something like that? "You ARE a good boy. You DO deserve good things."

I will. While I may accept some degradation and humiliation during sex, I don't typically go for it otherwise.

No thanks. Affirmations just make me feel worse unless I'm like, mentally prepared to accept them. I feel like it's probably good that I'm really firm about my degradation/humiliation boundary. I just don't do that shit, ever.

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moved from Hot or Not meme; gwenzelle

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cont'd from hot or not...

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text; un: c.snow

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