( unfortunately, it's not a topic that marc is even remotely skilled at navigating, almost entirely because he's never dealt with his own thoughts and feelings on death and dying — not the dying that he's done (or thinks he's done), but in a general sense. an overall sense. the self-loathing and self-hatred that had led him to the life he'd chosen. )
I've died. Three or four times that I know of.
You can want death up until the moment that you're there, in the middle of it. I thought I didn't care until I was on my hands and knees, crawling through the desert. Until I was given the option. A choice. To choose one god over another.
You might have had it, ( suicidal intent, he means, ) up until the point you didn't. Doesn't matter. You're still here.
cw: second verse same as the first, talk of death + dying, passive suicidalism
I've died. Three or four times that I know of.
You can want death up until the moment that you're there, in the middle of it. I thought I didn't care until I was on my hands and knees, crawling through the desert. Until I was given the option. A choice. To choose one god over another.
You might have had it, ( suicidal intent, he means, ) up until the point you didn't. Doesn't matter. You're still here.