[Marc is not the only person this happened with, is the thing. He can still see his own hands around Eliot's neck, he can remember trying to mentally transpose his own face over Eliot's. Eliot had taken it with grace, realizing quickly what was going on and reassuring Quentin once it was over. His neck was fine, it didn't even bruise.]
[The thing is it didn't really feel like a hallucination? He's hallucinated before, thanks to drugs. It felt more like...a game of pretend he couldn't make himself stop. Like he was just so deep into it that he couldn't shake it off. Not, honestly, entirely unlike subspace. An altered headspace that was too powerful to break on his own.]
I wasn't hallucinating
[long pause]
I don't think.
[another long pause]
I don't really know how to describe what was happening. How it felt
no subject
[Marc is not the only person this happened with, is the thing. He can still see his own hands around Eliot's neck, he can remember trying to mentally transpose his own face over Eliot's. Eliot had taken it with grace, realizing quickly what was going on and reassuring Quentin once it was over. His neck was fine, it didn't even bruise.]
[The thing is it didn't really feel like a hallucination? He's hallucinated before, thanks to drugs. It felt more like...a game of pretend he couldn't make himself stop. Like he was just so deep into it that he couldn't shake it off. Not, honestly, entirely unlike subspace. An altered headspace that was too powerful to break on his own.]
I wasn't hallucinating
[long pause]
I don't think.
[another long pause]
I don't really know how to describe what was happening. How it felt